Back in 2006 (satosugu x fem!reader)

Ouran high school host club on crack

"So yeah. My fiancé is a little loser freak nepo baby who is stupid as shit. The problem or in this case the good about him is that he's filthy rich and easily manipulatable. I also have like a psychic power or whatever and can tell that he's going to look hot as hell in the future. He's the right amount of pathetic I like in a man, like he's going to get his ass beat by Yuuji's hot 150-year-old brother and then his 17-year-old cousin in 10 years or so. That's hot. But the misogyny isn't... what should I do?"

Your new friend, Aika, dragged you to a host club in the red light district because newcomers get unlimited drinks for the first hour. Not only did you get unlimited amount of drinks for only 6 323,80 Yen a hour but you also got to be surrounded by hot guys who listened to your problems.

They let you in despite being 17 and obviously underage. You could tell that one of the hosts himself was underage, probably 16 or 17, so you were definitely not in the most reputable host club.

Despite your drunken rants, the hosts looked like they were grateful that you were doing all of the talking for them, and they didn't have to go out of their way to entertain you. The most they did was "accidentally" brush their knees against yours, and you didn't mind a little 19th century literature level of spice. Oh, good sir, how dare you! Your inadvertent touch upon my bare knee has compromised my virtuousity!

"I say manipulate him into giving you money," Aika suggested, taking a huge sip of her cocktail before continuing. "Be like, 'Me looking great will reflect on you, so give me all your money to go get my nails and lashes done.' Baam, easy. Although you said he was conservative? Don't tell me he expects you to walk around with foundation 1000 times lighter than your skin tone and a bushy hoo-haa?"

Your friend right here was a gyaru, and you assumed a hostess who had just gotten out of her shift when you had called her. Aika's outfit was a stunning display of Agejo fashion, which was usually for more older gyarus and not for 19 year olds such as herself. She wore a short, form-fitting black dress with intricate gold embroidery along the hemline and neckline. The dress accentuated her figure while maintaining a sense of sophistication. Her nails were adorned with glossy pink polish, and her elaborate mori hairstyle featured ornate gold hairpins. Oversized pink sunglasses added a touch of glamour to her look, and she accessorized with gold jewelry, including chunky bracelets and statement earrings. Completing her ensemble were garter stockings and black platform heels, giving her a confident and stylish demeanor. She looked fucking great.

The younger and less experienced host choked at the use of the word "hoo-haa," while you and the one who had brushed his knees against yours burst into laughter.

"Bestie, don't you know any conservative men? They say they want tradition yet they'd shit their pants if they saw an actual traditional woman. He's most likely expecting me to be some pornified version of tradition he has, like all of them." You slammed your drink on the table in anger.

"Mind you, I have amnesia, and apparently my whole family is killed or something? I'm really confused, and I only have him and his nightmare of a family to ask for any questions... although I do have a roommate? I think? She has called me 50 times in the last week, but I'm too scared to tell her so I ignored her." You said as you were looking at your reflection in the cup. You were met with silence, and you looked up to see all of their blank looks directed at you. Thanks, guys.

"I say you call your roommate and explain everything to her! Like Epictetus said, 'There is only one way to happiness, and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will.'" One of the hosts with glasses quoted. Oh wow, you wonder what archetype he was supposed to represent. It was obvious the guy has taken 20 minutes to memorise this and was looking for the opportunity to say the quote. You had to give it to him.