CHAPTER WARNINGS: CUTTING, BLOOD, BITING
My moms leaving tmrw to go to Chicago w two of her friends and Lilly
I can't even get 1.5 weeks w my mom before she goes off again
My little brother gets back from his school trip today
I found out my older brother Hudson is l̸e̸a̸v̸i̸n̸g̸ moving sorry
It feels like he's leaving
He's the only one I can tolerate 24/7
Everyone annoys the fuck out of me and I hate it
I just need someone to talk to sometimes
But now that person is gone
And I hate it
My dad comes back tmrw from visiting the second house to make sure it's alr
He's been gone for 2 weeks
I have a theory he's cheating on my mom
Idk if it's true tho
I hate my mom so much
I can't even
It's not even that she's doing this to me
It's my little brother
I hate my little brother
But seeing him cry breaks my heart to pieces
My mom hasn't seen my little brother in a week cuz he was on a school trip, he got back yesterday
And now she's leaving to Chicago. Idk why I don't even care that she's leaving me. I just know he really wanted to talk to her for at least a day. And now she's taking off again for the 6th time this month.
Dad comes home today
We have staz as our babysitter for the day
She's Lilly's best friend and my practical sister
I've known her since I was four, she's been around for well a lot of years.
She just had her bday and is now nineteen (say happy late bday staz)
Last night I cut for the first time in a month
The urge grew too big
And... I had my scissors for the first time in a month
So...I cut my ankle
Blood
I love bloood
So fucking much
Idk why but I do
I ate chargers as a kid
Like the phone chargers? Yeah I ate those
And I bite the inside of my lip
So much blood
I love it
It hurts a lot
But it's amazing
This week i bit myself for the first time since January
It hurt a shit ton
I have marks still two days later
I bit my finger
My wrist.
The wrist one looks awful, like a dog bit me
I mean to be fair my fourth middle name is dog
So that might be why
Idk tho
The relationship I have w my dad is one I hope will never change and just exist as it is
He's my favorite person in the universe and actually gives a shit abt me
He makes the best food and lets me buy endless supplies of books
And then the best part is
He lets me rant abt them to him
So I just finished an amazing book (betting on you by Lynn painter) and I get to rant to him abt it and he will listen and just give the best answers and make me piss my pants
And now we get to talk abt the audio book he's listening to and it's great
I hate him for treating Lilly like a little princess and spoiling her like the little queen she fs is
But as long as he gets me books, let's me rant, and fangirls w me abt conan gray, I'm alr.
Well I'm going to bed
Long day fs
Love you ppl!!
