F1,F2 and F3 One shots Book 13 (REQUESTS OPEN)

Social Anxiety - Paul Aron

Requested by Anelekalton

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TRIGGER WARNING:
Mentions of social anxiety

Taking a shaky deep breath as you pressed a hand to your pounding heart, the edges of your lips curled up into a small smile, you taking a sniffle through the tears which had been falling down your cheeks as you gazed out to the view in front of you. You may have had severe social anxiety, it being difficult for you to gather the courage to leave your home alone, but you loved this particular spot, not only loving the view and the sound of the waves crashing against the sand below the cliff edge, but also because it had become your safe space as you always knew there was a good chance that you would run into your childhood best friend and now boyfriend, Paul there with it being somewhere you would both go whenever you would need some alone time, but at the same time, never complaining about being alone in your spot together. He had always been there for you when you needed him and this particular day being no exception, your head snapping upwards at the sound of footsteps coming towards you, but letting out an enormous sigh of relief at the realisation of who it was.

"Y/N, what's wrong? Why have you been crying?" Paul then rushed to ask you as he didn't hesitate to crash down beside you.

"Why are you here? You always come here whenever something is bothering you too," you responded, deflecting as you didn't want to trigger your anxiety by bringing your worrying thoughts back to the forefront of your mind.

"We've been over this, I thought you agreed that talking things through rather than bottling up your anxiety is a much better way of dealing with it?" Paul replied with a small sigh, but his expression softening at the sight of you taking another deep breath.

You took a small pause as memories of the argument which you had with your parents earlier that day came flooding back to your mind, your jaw clenching as your previous thoughts returned, thoughts that they weren't willing to understand how your social anxiety was impacting you.

"It's my parents again," you spoke up with sorrow as you allowed yourself to calm a little at the feeling of Paul taking one of his hands into your own. "It's nothing new. It's just them being them, always putting pressure on me to get out into the world, trying to push me before I'm ready. 'It's not just going to be you and Paul forever' they say. 'He's got a successful career which is exactly what you need to do. He meets so many people so we wouldn't be surprised if you lose contact and then you'll have no one. You need to be out making friends as well as networking to try to make your way up the professional ladder just like we have'. They don't realise what the pressure they put on me does to me and when I try and explain that, they say 'you don't hesitate to go to Paul's and go to that little spot overlooking the beach so you're just making excuses', not understanding there are only certain spots I feel safe, spots where I'm not going to have to interact with people I don't know and of course spots where you are."

"You'll always have me, Y/N and you know that," said Paul comfortingly as he started to caress soothing circles over your knuckles. "I don't think your parents have ever realised just how close we are, that no matter how many people enter my life, you will never be pushed out of it. I know it's hard for them to understand how debilitating anxiety can be, especially because it's something they've never experienced, but you've just got to keep trying with them. They do love you so I'm sure they'll give you the understanding that I do someday."

"They just don't seem to understand that I have no interest in being around other people and that I'm happy that way and that my anxiety is at it's highest at the thought of being forced to do that," you then replied with panic, rushing your words as you felt your heart pummelling even harder against your chest as your anxious thoughts were starting to once again take over.

Paul didn't hesitate to pull you close to him, aligning your hearts to make sure that you would be able to follow his breathing, you gradually feeling your heartrate reduce back to a more normal level at the sound of the words he was filling your ears with.

"You know that I'll always make sure you are never forced into a position which makes you feel anxious when I'm around. I'll always get you out of the situation and we'll go somewhere it's just the two of us," replied Paul calmingly as he cupped your cheeks in his hands.

"I don't know what I'd do without you," you replied with appreciation, letting out a sigh of relief as you leaned forward to rest your forehead against his own. "I could stay here with you all day."

"It's a good job you'll never have to find out and we can stay here for as long as you like," Paul responded affectionately as he wrapped an arm around your shoulders, you then resting your head into the crook of his neck as you realised that the sky was turning a mixture of orange and purple and the sun was making it's way down towards the horizon.