Sunshine and Midnight rain

Chapter 17

-"I broke his heart 'cause he was nice
He was sunshine
I was midnight rain
He wanted it comfortable
I wanted that pain.."

-"Okay, thank you.." He added quietly. Meanwhile, our orders arrived.

24th of January

Yuji's pov

"Hey, 'Gumi."I said, smiling lightly. That day my mood matched perfectly the weather, cloudy, grey, windy and cold.
"Hey."He said, at the entrance of his house. "Come in." I made my way inside and hung my jacket, as his dogs greeted me cheerfully.
"A bit moody today?"He asked.
"Looks like it."I said, looking at the ground, he sighed. "You don't look in a good mood either." I observed.
"Yep."He stated, moving towards the living room as I followed him. I had a bad feeling about that. We both sat down on the sofa, in silence.
"Frustrated?"I asked.
"Yeh."
"Same."He sighed.
"Did you see Grace yesterday? She had totally avoided you."I said.
"Yeah, I know, it's just better for me to be honest. She has to move on, and I don't think she'll have problems with that, considering all the boys that want her."
"I think you shouldn't say that. She seemed really into you, I guess it'll take her some time till moving on totally."He sighed, standing up to adjust something.
"Whatever. I don't understand why you are  defending her anyway."He said the last part more quietly.
"I'm not defending her, but if she broke down that's all I can think about."I raised my voice a bit.
"You care too much about people, Yuji."He replied with the same tone.
"So what? I'm too empathetic and I care about other people's feelings."
"You care for the ones that don't even deserve it."
"How could you say that she doesn't deserve it?"He looked at me stunned.
"What? You fucking know how she behaved with me and how much that annoyed me and made me uncomfortable. How can you even say that she doesn't deserve it?"He replied after a few seconds, eyes widened, anger painted on his face. Incredible how the situation changed so fast within seconds.
"Yes, I fucking know, however I can't help but feel bad for her since I fucking know how she feels, I feel it."
"I had already told you that you are too empathetic."
"I know!" I shouted. I looked at the sofa under me. "That doesn't mean I don't feel bad even for the ones that I should dislike and don't deserve it."I added more calmly.
"Yuji, I can't fucking stand this part of you." He said angrily. That hurt, maybe too much.
"And I can't stand your fucking careless attitude, at least tell me what's going on."I replied, with sourness, I know that's wrong.
"Look, Yuji, I'm sorry for that, really. I'm not in the mood to argue with you."
"Well, we already are. Could you tell me at least what bothers you?" He stood there, looking at me from above.
"Why are you fucking worried about that if I have just hurt you?"He asked, in a normal way. So he knew.
"I've hurt you too. Just answer, please."
"Stop being so kind with the ones that don't deserve it." He referred to himself. If only he could know how I see him.
"Stop acting like you don't deserve it."I raised my voice again. "Just forgive yourself, nothing has happened. Now, tell me what bothers you."
"It's something personal, I'd rather not talk about that…"He said really quietly, after a while.
"Ugh, fine."I said.  We continued laying on the sofa, while watching one of those space super gripping documentaries. I know Megumi's very fond of Astronomy and always keeps himself updated on the news concerning breakthroughs or facts. We stood in silence for a good 20 minutes, it was really awkward considering what happened.
"Do you wanna drink something?"He asked.
"Yes, whatever you want."
"Fine."He stood up. He came back after two minutes with two cups of the usual orange juice we drink. We then continued watching the documentary. It was cold. We were laying at the opposite sides of his sofa, far from each other. The situation was still awkward, he hurt me and I probably hurt him, but somehow, again, this empathetic and sensitive part of me took over my body. Before our argument I was in a bad mood for something not too specific, just some bad thoughts but nothing too serious, I was okay. However now I could feel it clearly: he was hurting more than me, something really deep and hidden found a dwelling in his chest, and it didn't seem to be willing to come out soon. I observed him for a while. Apart from being far from me, his back soon turned towards me, so I couldn't even see his face. Without realising an hour had passed and the room turned dark, due to the winter atmosphere. He hadn't moved for some time, so I took the chance and observed him as his back was still turned. I could hear his soft breath across the sofa. I observed him carefully, his soft hair, his oversized black hoodie that embraced him warmly, his black jeans covering his bent legs, his arm that covered slightly part of his face. I soon came to the conclusion that he fell asleep. He looked like a defenceless puppy in my eyes, who had to drown in his own fears and griefs. I softly moved closer to him, I felt the urge to hold him, protect him, reassure him. I slowly and kindly wrapped my arms around his body, being the big spoon while he was the little one. I took a look at his face, and as expected, he was sleeping. His relaxed muscles showed his peaceful expression. I tenderly and delicately placed a kiss on his hair, at the back of his head, squeezing him lightly. Suddenly, all the cold seemed to disappear. He surely sensed my presence, since, just like a little black cat, he snuggled a bit more towards me, probably involuntarily. I rested my forehead on the back of his head and closed my eyes, appreciating our connection. My chest seemed to explode at any time. I listened to his breath and felt at home, he is everything I need. His scent filled my nostrils.  Suddenly, I felt something touch my hand, placed on his stomach. His hand gingerly placed onto mine, warmness spreading through our bodies.
"Yuji.."
"Shh.."I said, placing again a soft kiss on the back of his head.
"I'm sorry for telling you I can't stand that part of you, I'm really sorry.."He said. "In fact, I actually love it, I love how you care about people and how you can feel what they feel, have a connection with them. It's just the Grace thing.."
"I'm sorry too, I shouldn't have defended her after the things she's done." We stood in silence, the documentary going on and on.
"Do you wanna talk about what bothers you?"I asked him really delicately.
"No, thank you."He replied. "I just miss someone."
"Do you wanna tell me who that is?"I asked again, in the same soft tone. He replied after meditating a little.
"Someone who's not here anymore, like your grandfather." That broke my heart a little. I could perfectly sense and understand his pain, everyone who has lost someone really special to him can. I just held him tighter, protecting him in my arms, hiding his body that seemed smaller compared to mine and gave him some kisses.
"I'm scared, just sometimes."He added quietly.
"What are you afraid of?" I asked him gently.
"Losing people, just a few actually. That person, the one I told you about, was already sick when she passed away, but it was so unexpected that I didn't even know how to react, I didn't know what to say, I didn't know how to let my emotions out. I cried sometimes, but everything I feel when I think about her is just an enormous, huge lump in the throat, difficulty speaking, sore jaw, and an endless, heavy, breaking feeling in my chest. Since then, I'm afraid of losing some people, actually, it was just Gojo not so long ago, and those little two hairy creatures that make everything better. He was the only one I was afraid to lose, he's actually my little world even though I don't show it much. But now, things are different. The people I'm really afraid, terrified to lose are two, and you are the other one."He stated quietly. My eyes widened. "I'm scared."He admitted.
"I'm here with you."Silence.
"What..what will I do when I'll be scared and you won't be there with me?"
"I'll be there with you."
"You- you can't be with me at anytime, you know."
"I can."
"How can you-"
"Megumi." I stopped him mid-sentence. "Do you trust me? Just a little?"
"I do."I smiled.
"Then, trust me, I'll be there with you."
"How can I believe that? This is just scientifically impossible."
"Could you not rely on science? Just for once, please."I added quietly.
"But-"
"Please, Megumi."He said nothing. "I'll be there with you at anytime, trust me."That was the last thing I said, continuing to hug him strongly, in silence. I placed once again a gentle kiss on his head. 
"What will I do if I'll be scared and you'll be already gone?"
"I won't ever be gone."
"You can't promise me that."
"I can't, you're right, but I can promise you I'll always find a way to come back to you."
"How do you know you'll come back to me?"
"I'm in love with you." This shut him up. "You're the dearest to me."He didn't say anything for about a minute.
""But, how do you know you'll always com-"
"Megumi, just shut up and trust me, okay?"He slowly turned his head around. Meeting my eyes, I smiled immediately. Ocean meets land. We stood there looking at each other's eyes for two minutes, then, he slowly fully turned around as I continued embracing him. Now, he was turned towards my chest. Suddenly, his hands were gently placed on my cheeks, cupping my face, as we stood there still looking at the other. I tightened my grip and brought him closer to my chest, covered, just like his, in a black hoodie. He clinged to my chest, almost looking as if he was hiding. I left a kiss on his head, and continued kissing him softly on his hair. He was warm. I stuck a hand in his hair and caressed him, as if he was the most precious thing in the world. Don't say that to him, but he actually is. His eyes were closed again.
"I love you."I whispered and then placed a kiss on his forehead, continuing to caress his hair.