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Emmanuelle


Tia had three requests when it came to her funeral. The most important one was that she wanted to be cremated. Second, she wanted it to be over with within two days after her death, preferably the next day. And third, she did not want to wait on anyone. Other than us, she did not have any other family that she was in contact with; therefore, she did not care for their attendance.

"Hey, you ready?" Marissa walked into my room as I was getting dressed. A purple long-sleeved dress I bought last minute for the funeral, because Tia also clearly stated that she did not want the black and white theme that funerals are usually planned around. "You look nice," Marissa smiled at me and I stared at her- no, I judged her. Not a single tear had left Marissa's eyes. Not a single moment had she been sad, at least not around us.

"Yeah, you too." My eyes covered the bright yellow dress she had on.

"I forgot I had it," She held up both ends, like she was about to curtsy. "I'm happy it still fits."

My eyebrows hugged, was Tia this meaningless to her? "How are you not sad?"

She looked at me confused.

"Tia's dead! And you're smiling like nothing's wrong." I shook my head, the disbelief plastered all over my face. "How? How are you not completely broken with everything that is happening!"

Marissa continued looking at me, but the confusion in her eyes was now replaced with nothing but emptiness. Silence became the only noise in the room when both of us turned quiet. She darted her tongue against her lower lip as her eyes swiftly moved to the floor beneath us. Then she sniffed her nose, just like she did when we were in the car and so far, that was the only proof of her struggle with Tia's passing.

"Tia was a wonderful person. Kind and loving," She sniffed again, "She would not want us to be sad."

"Spare me the bullshit. I'll listen to your eulogy at the funeral." I stormed passed her. Downstairs, Lorna, Dom, Christoph and Emillio were gathered in the kitchen. Lorna had cooked us a big pot of comfort soup, which some of them were already having. Everyone was colorfully dressed, together the bunch reminded me of a pack of Dom's crayons.

"Guys, It's time." Marissa was not far behind me. She had turned on her heels, heading for the front door when I turned to look at her. We went to the funeral home early, as we discussed and agreed that the extra ten minutes before moving Tia to the auditorium where her funeral was held, would allow us to grieve and say goodbye in peace.

Tia looked peaceful in her coffin; her lips were painted deep red, matching her long dress, which covered her legs and arms. She was thin, just skin and bones, but the funeral home had done a good job at making her look peaceful and more brightened, than she looked during her last days of struggling with the disease.

Every one of us got to say our goodbyes. I chose to go in last with Dom. When our turn came, it was as if my legs refused to straighten out of the chair I sat in. Every bone in my body was weak and my heart raced so fast that I panicked.

This was it; our last time saying goodbye to her. Dom was mostly silent and the one time he did speak it was to ask me to leave. I did not. I did not want to leave her. I could not. Tia died alone without us by her bedside, how it was suppose to happen, because we left to go to New York. Because, I was once again too selfish to realize that the little time she had left was meant to be spend together and not for us— for me to go chase after Dimitri.

"Mom, I want to leave!" Dom whined as he tugged my arm.

"Nuelle." Marissa's voice came from the door. She stepped halfway inside. "They're ready." She smiled warmly.

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