on the map//spencer 'spider' white

31

Rowan heard Amerie's love confession. She tries to stop him, but he keeps walking. Harper and I follow after them. We follow them into the sound booth.

"Please, Am. Can we just sort this out?" Harper asks.

"Just leave me alone," Amerie tells her.

Music starts to play.

"Is there someone in here?" Amerie asks.

"Amerie. Can you please just let me explain? I'm..." Harper asks.

Suddenly the door slams shut.

"What the hell?" I ask.

Harper tries to get the door open. "It's locked."

"Wait. Let me try," Amerie tells her.

"What the hell is going on?" Harper asks.

The projector in the AV room turns on. It's an animation of a skatepark.

Rowan's voice is playing through the film. "My name is Rowan, but kids call me Spud."

"Spud," Amerie says.

"I'm 12. I'm a small, fat, hairless potato. I don't exist to her, but my whole life seems to revolve around catching a fleeting glimpse of Amerie at the skatepark." The film continues showing a young Amerie, Harper, and I. Then a bird. "Then one day... a chance. We call him Eggo. Every day, I bring Eggo to the park. We take care of him together. Then everything goes to shit." In the video Amerie and Rowan are having a funeral. "We decide to have a funeral for Eggo. Other kids crowd around and start laughing at us. "What babies, having a funeral for a bird." Amerie is embarrassed. She tells them it was my idea. She walks away from me." In the video young Rowan is crying. "The dam walls are breaking. I feel like I'll never be okay again. I need to do something, anything to stop the pain. My little brother Jett... he's scared. He tells me to stop, but I can't. He goes to get my parents, but they're across the road at a barbecue. He doesn't see the car."

The projector turns off.

"Do you remember me now?" Rowan asks through the comm.

Amerie nods her head. "Yes."

"You. You're Bird Psycho?" I ask.

"So you came back to fuck with her?" Harper remarks.

"No, no. I went to Dubbo with Dad to get better. And I was better. I came back ready to move on," Rowan tells us.

Harper tries to get the door open.

"But you didn't remember me," Rowan says.

"I didn't recognize you!" Amerie shouts. "You've changed so much."

"And you haven't changed at all. You're still selfish," Rowan tells her. "Still hurting people."

"Let us out now," Harper tells him.

"Please," I say.

"I will. I just need her to understand," Rowan says.

"Understand what? Why you did all this shit to her?" Harper asks.

"Harper, stop! It doesn't matter," Amerie insists.

"It does. He fucking abused you!" Harper shouts.

"His brother died," Amerie states.

"That's not an excuse," Harper tells her.

"You didn't do that," I tell her.

"He was traumatized," Amerie argues.

"I don't need your fucking pity," Rowan tells her.

"I smell smoke." Harper tries to open the door again. "I fucking smell smoke!"