hell gets a alien ( X Reader hazbin hotel and helluva boss)

exes and oohs

[The scene opens with an exterior shot of I.M.P Headquarters. Cut to the inside of the office with Moxxie holding his signature mug and Loona and Rosalie sitting on your lap taking turns making out with you. Moxxie looks around.]

Moxxie: *softly claps twice* You know, I checked the scale today. *inhales* And it said I lost two pounds this week.

[Loona looks at Moxxie, then rolls her eyes and goes back to making out with you, much to his annoyance.]

Moxxie: I. am not. FAT!

Rosalie: kinda are (giggles).

[Cut to the front door kicked open by a furious Millie as she stomps around the office, mumbling angrily.]

Millie: *mumbling angrily* Ooh! Such a fucking asshole! That little motherfucker. I just wanna take my finger up and shove it up his fuckin' little thing!

[Upon coming up to the table, Millie slams her coffee cup on the it disturbing Loona. Millie then passes Loona and hits a button titled "Nut button!!" that summons a cardboard cutout of a human saying, "Hi! I'm a Hooman!" then throws a knife and lunges at said cutout. Moxxie looks at her, disturbed.]

Y/n: Millie baby what's up?

[Millie hisses back at you in response.]

Y/n: MILLIE!

[She then snaps out of it]

Millie: oh I'm sorry baby just I ran into a ex?

Rosalie: oh I hate those.

Y/n: want me to turn his skin inside out babe?

Millie: no he isn't worth it baby  *retracts knife* he just kept going on about how he has money now, "a bright future," and "a bigger cock".

Y/n: if he has to brag about it it's probably not true.

[Rosalie laughs]

Rosalie: so true.

Millie: *raises voice* Every time I see his stupid face, I can't help it! I just need to—

[Millie punches the filing cabinet beside her in frustration. Blitzo enters the room on his phone shortly after.]

Blitzo: What the fuck is all this noise? I got a client!

Moxxie: Sorry, sir. I'll get this all cleaned—

[He holds up a photo of two imps making out in horse suits.]

Moxxie: What is this?

Blitzo: Uh, research! For science! Just put it back correctly, okay? Alphabetize them.

[He walks back into his office.]

y/n: yeah I'm burning these.

[You hold your hand out and set the cabinet a blaze.]

Blitzo: Okay, so let me get this straight: you don't want us going to Earth at all for this job?

[Cut to the inside of a mansion, with a businessman holding a lit cigar, and his chair facing a green fireplace.]

Client: Correct. That will not be necessary. I'd like to meet you and your whole crew at my estate.

Blitzo: Uh, you want us killing someone in Hell. 'Cause I got to tell ya, that ain't exactly our business anymore.

Client: I'll tell ya all about it when you get here. *smokes cigar* It's regarding a business venture I'm sure will be very worth (through the phone) your time.

Blitzo: Ooh, how ominous. *chuckles* Fine, whatever, what's the address?

Client: Transportation has already (through the phone) been taken care of.