Let Me Be Your Hero (Yato x OC)} Noragami fanfiction

Chapter 47 - I cannot live like this

The lonliest moment in someone's life is when their whole world fell apart and all they can do is stare blankly.

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Suddendly I felt how a small finger rubbed away my tears. I looked up and saw that brown haired girl I already saw the day before. "Hush. Everything will be fine."

It truly is amazing...

Suddendly a smirk came up on her face. "If you already cry about something like that, then you probably will suffer even more, later."

...how easily you can be fooled by others...

She has no idea of how much I already am suffering. Of how much I already am hurt. How would she even know?
My eyes met hers. "And why... Why do you say so...?" She looked kinda surprised as I asked that. "Why? Well... To me you don't look like you want to end the contract with Yato. Which would mean one of your friends must be eliminated until you listen to me, right?" My eyes widened as soon as I heard that. "No! That's no--" "So then you will end the contract very soon, right?"

Not only that... But also...

I bit on my lip. Would I even be able to do that? Of course I would, right? It's so easy... Nobody will get hurt... Everyone will keep living on, happily. It's so easy... So goddamn easy... And yet... It is incredibly painful for me.
I smiled. "Yeah... Just give me some more time..."

...how easy it is to fool yourself...

She just simply smiled. Just how much I hated that smile... It was almost disgusting. And then in a blink of an eye, she left.

I just blankly stared at the ground. Nobody will be hurt. Nobody... But... I won't be there anymore... I will live on as yokai and wait until I find another master. But... I... I...

Tears fell out of my eyes and hit the ground. And as I felt how my knees got weaker and weaker, I let them fall. I buried my face in my hands. "No... It's okay... I am okay..."

Nothing is okay...

I sobbed. I wasn't even able to control my tears. All I could do was sit there in agony.

Suddendly I felt a hand on my shoulder. I throught it might be the girl again, so I hit it away. "Don't touch me!" But as soon as I hit it away, it took hold of my wrist. I looked up. My eyes met illuminating, blue ones. Yato. I shrieked. But I didn't apologize. I only felt how his grip became stronger and stronger. He breathed heavily. "Why... Why and where did you go? I looked for you!! You could have been in danger! If something happened to you, then--" I cut him off. "Then you also would be in danger is what you wanted to say... Right?"

And I am not able to keep on living like this.

His eyes widened. "What...?" I gulped. "Me, being in danger would also mean that you also are... That is what you wanted to say." Yato bit in his lower lip. "That is not what I meant! If you were in danger, I...! I..." His gaze wandered to the ground. I stared at him and waited for him to finish his sentence. "You would see me as a burden...", I whispered. His gaze went from the ground back to me. "I always have been a burden... The whole time... Even without noticing it... Even back then, I..." I stopped talking. My eyes widened in realization of the last sentence I said. But it was too late.

Yato's lips were trembling. "Back... Then...?" I clenched my fists. "I want to end the contract with you." And after I said that last sentence, everything seemed to stop. Our breathing. Our heartbeat. The only thing which proved that we still were alive was the fact that our bodies did not grow cold like those of corpses'.

It would be impossible.

"What... Did you just..." "I want to end the contract with you. I don't want to be your yokai anymore... I do not wish to be a burden anymore..." "You are not!! And I will not end the contract with you!", he said. I gazed at him, trying not to let my eyes form net tears. "Why... Why won't you let me go?! I want to go! I... I will disappear and never see you again. I will not be a burden like that!!" I brushed off his hand ehich was holding mine.

"You once said... You would never want to leave me... You would want to stay by my side all the time. Was that a lie?", his voice sounded calm. Yet, he almost was shouting as he grabbed for the hand that I held back.

I clenched my teeth. I felt enraged. "Then if you do not want to let go of me... Why did you leave me alone in the rain?! Why did you only come back at the very last moment?! Why did you always write those stupid notes instead of speaking to me in person?! Why did you only came to say goodbye?! That doesn't make sense at all... First you left me... And now you don't want to let go of me! I don't understand you at all!! I don't understand anything at all!"

Silence.

"Akira... You... You remember...?"

I gasped. Only now did I realize what I actually said. And only now did I realize how many tears were running down my face.

And I guess it would be just a waste of time to even try living like this...

Author's Note

I know. I haven't updated for a very... Very, very long time. And I am sorry for that. It's just that school really is wearing me out... I just am so tired of studying D: Oh yeah and also, I will edit this fanfiction. So maybe it might take a while until I update again. But defenitely not so long as it took, writing this chapter! I wrote like... Almost one sentence every day, idek. I hope you forgive me, dear readers D: Author is just a bit tired from all that studying v.v But well, soon summer holidays will start for me!! Yaaayyyyy!!!!
See yah in the next chapters, dear readers :))