Hymn To My Soul

~ CHAPTER 5 ~

Lydia and Rose walked briskly through the door to the promenade and gasped when the cool ocean air met their faces in the warm afternoon sun. Lydia hadn't realized how exhausting it was to keep up with that act in front of the other men, and she could only assume how it was for Rose. It was so draining that Lydia stumbled along the wooden deck after Rose to a perch overlooking the Third-Class promenade. Rose gracefully leaned against the white railing her breathing labored but controlled. Lydia wasn't as put together, breathing heavily as she leaned back against the railing.

"Why is the world so cruel to us, Rose?" Lydia asked with a sigh.

"I don't know." She responded. "They just seem to think they have the overarching control over everything they touch. If something comes out of that and disturbs their order, all hell breaks loose."

A silence came over them as they breathed in the peaceful air and the calming wind that made Lydia's hair dance. Suddenly, a heavy weight of realization reappeared within Lydia's heart, troubling her. "Rose, I am trapped." She spoke softly, her eyes focused on her shoes. Rose turned to her with a confused yet concerned brow. "I'm trapped within this nightmare. This marriage. I didn't make the decision. I didn't want it. It just happened. One moment I was peacefully on my own, pursuing my writing, and the next I knew I was tethered to a man I had never met and frankly hated me. He only wanted me for show, Rose. Just because I look pretty. And because I have a personality that isn't submissive, he thinks he has the right to abuse me." Lydia cried, turning to the railing to hide her tears.

"Lydia," Rose spoke softly, rubbing her back.

"Rose, I can't take much more of this. He's too powerful, physically. He could kill me if he wanted to and take all my assets. He could ruin my family. Everything that my parents tried to fix by selling me off could come undone because he doesn't like me anymore. What if he does kill me once we get married? What will happen then?" She began to hyperventilate as she sobbed. Rose held her friend close and consoled her.

"He may have the physical strength, but you have the brains," Rose said. "Beat him in cleverness. Make an escape."

Lydia stood straight and dotted her eyes. "An escape?"

"Lydia, you are smart enough to create a plan of escape. Whether that be on this ship or when we arrive in New York. You can make it." She encouraged, but her eyes darkened.

"What about you, Rose? What will you do? Won't you come with me if I do?" Lydia pleaded.

"I'm not sure." She spoke slowly as she turned away in a daze.

"Rose, you must come with me. It would be better if we do it together. We'd have each other's backs. We could make it." Lydia pushed, her gaze drifting toward a group of Third-Class boys who seemed to be looking up toward them. "Look at them, Rose. See how free they are? We could be like them. We wouldn't have any money but we would be happy and free. We could get a job in New York and earn money to make a living. You can become a movie star and I'll become an author. We'll make it on our own." Rose turned to her with her brows quivered in worried thought. "Think about it. We could sneak away down to third class on the last day of the voyage and slip out with them. We'd be mixed within the crowd so that no one would recognize us. What do you think?"

Rose looked down toward the boys again, catching the eye of a dirty blonde handsome young man who seemed to be sketching. Their gazes locked for a moment before Rose turned to her friend. "I don't know, Lydia. I don't know if I'll have much of a choice."

"If there is a will, there is a way," Lydia spoke quickly. "Just tell me you have the will."

"I don't know." Rose sighed before getting distracted by the figure of a man approaching them. It was Cal coming to retrieve his fiancé. "What is it, Cal?" She asked him sternly.