Dream Discussions

Balancing Realism and Idealization: Female Protagonists in Literature

Welcome back to another round of Bookish Debates! In the spirit of Women's History Month, we asked our dreamers for their thought regarding writing female protagonists and how best to portray balanced characters and balanced narratives. 

Read on to hear what our dreamers had to say!

Question posted on March 9th, 2024

When crafting female protagonists, how should authors prioritize realistic flaws over idealized strengths? Does this risk diminishing women's representation in literature?

*All answers are slightly modified for grammar and structure.*

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Winning answer by avadel

Women are people before they are anything else. Women in literature don't have to be superheroes; they don't have to be idealized statues. They need to be real. I read so many modern women that bear the moniker in their name only but have none of the traits I recognize in myself or the women around me.

We read literature largely to connect with other humans and to get attached to characters. It is hard to get attached to a character who is perfect because people are not perfect. I miss women who fail like me, who struggle like me, and who, like me, recognize their differences from men and have to figure out how to navigate the world in light of that. I miss women who cry, not because we do that at the drop of a hat, but because the world is hard and sometimes we need to feel that. I miss people who feel real.

I would love to see women represented as human again—with all the failings that entail.

Second place answer by SmokeAndOranges

Women are people, like Laine said. They also have the right to be whole, interesting and, yes, strong people without needing to be men in a different costume.

There are many definitions of strength. Courage is not a lack of fear; it's the ability to do things despite being terrified. Crying is not weakness; it's a way to process emotions instead of suppressing them until you're a stopped-up powder keg waiting to blow. Diplomacy is not a cop-out; it's a hallmark of the strongest and best leaders of all.

Yet many traits commonly ascribed to women are viewed as weak and inferior, to the point where gendered derogatory terms like "sissy" or "you ___ like a girl" continue to exist. Femininity itself is viewed as weakness, and that net captures anything from emotionality to beauty to love of kids to an inclination to compromise instead of solving every problem with brutality the way male characters are often idealized to. That's not to say every woman is like this—obviously they're not! There are women whose strength conforms to masculine ideals, and they are just as valid as the rest.

Yet women characters who dare to be flawed and even occasionally "feminine" tend to take harsher criticism than their male counterparts, even in identical situations, which adds pressure for authors to make their women characters as bulletproof as possible. "Not like the other girls" is a whole trope that often plays out along this divide, if the "other girls" are loaded with disparaged feminine stereotypes, while the protagonist of the book is celebrated for rejecting those things.

Women have the right to be women while still commanding the love and respect of readers and fellow characters. They have the right to carry their own stories without needing a man to save the day for them, even (especially) if he's physically stronger. And they have the right to do all of that without needing to conform to the ideals of men. That's not weakness... that's just called being human. 

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That's all for now! We appreciate that those who participated took a moment out of their lives to chat along with us and congratulations once again to the winners! If you have any addition thoughts (or anything you'd like to add on), feel free to do so in the comments!

See you guys next round!