I was drowning in her kiss. The intensity of it filled me with sensations I'd never felt before. I taste her and I realize I've been starving. I have loved before, but never quite like this. I have kissed before, but never did it consume me like thi...
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Monday, April 12th
10:12 a.m
___
"Honestly Leighton, I don't know what you want me to say." I tell him after moments of horrific silence, I'm trying so desperately to wrap my head around his words. Trying so hard to comprehend them.
Yet the only thing that I'm able to grasp is the burning ache that plagues my chest.
Leighton explained to me in as much detail as he was capable of explaining— what happened last night.
To after he left for his parents house, to when his father confessed his sickness, to afterwards in which he decided to lose himself in substances known and unknown.
"Just tell me how you're feeling." He says to me.
I can see the guilt and the shame in his eyes, I can feel it radiating from him but I'm left speechless. Utterly dumbfounded.
Leighton was barely even conscious while being intimate with her, and I assume she was completely sober and aware of his drunken state.
I'm upset, understandably. But I'm more worried about him than anything else. I don't care about me, I'll be fine. I am fine.
But what about him?
"It's fine, Leighton. I'm fine, it's you I'm worried about." My words only seem to take him aback, confusing him. As if he can't understand why I would worry about him, it almost breaks my heart that he thinks I don't care about him as I say I do.
I always have, I always will.
"Me? Alea, I'm sitting here, trying to make sense of this, but I can't. You're not fucking fine. Nothing about any of this is fine." He says, baffled and angry.
"I'm not fine with.. what happened to me. I'm not fine with what happened to you. But right now, in this moment, with you, I'm fine. I'm okay because you're here. I'm okay because we're together,"
"You got me and I got you." I reassure him, my hand resting on his shoulder. Leighton's grey eyes finally brighten as he looks at me with an enlightened expression.
The way he's looking at me reminds me of something Mia once said,
"But I'm seriously shocked. You didn't know? I mean, do you not see how his eyes instantly gravitate towards you whenever you're in the room? He looks at you like you put the sun in the sky and the moon in the stars."
