Naruto, writing in a letter: "I'm going to kick.. your... ass."
Naruto: THERE. Now send it.
Sakura:: Dude, your handwriting is terrible, are you sure you want to-
Naruto: JUST DO IT!
later
Kasumi: So what does it say?
Sasuke, reading the letter: They say they're going to "lick my...."
Kasumi:
Sasuke:
Kasumi: Gross-
Sakura, texting in the group chat: I wonder what Apple shots would look like?
Sasuke: *Sends a picture of a syringe with an apple slice shoddily edited inside*
Naruto: *Sends a picture of a shot glass with an Apple poorly drawn inside*
Kasumi: *Sends picture of person dunking a Basketball into the hoop but replaced the basketball with a poorly resized apple*
Sakura: I hate all of you.
Sasuke, to Kasumi: When was the last time you let someone hug you?
Kasumi: *thinking*
Kasumi: 2012.
Sakura: 2012...?
Kasumi: Yeah. I almost died and it freaked Naruto out so I let them hug me.
Sakura: THEY COME SEASONALLY!
Sakura: THEY COME EVERY YEAR!
Naruto: What- Kasumi, are they drunk again-
Sakura: IT DOESN'T MATTER WHERE I GO!
Sakura: WHAT DOES IT MEAN?
Kasumi: What does WHAT mean?
Sasuke, who is the only one who knows what Sakura is talking about: I mean, when you found one in the bathroom-
Naruto: WHAT THE FUCK DID SAKURA FIND IN THE BATHROOM?
Sakura: I'M TELLING YOU LIKE- LIKE IN THE SWIMMING POOL-
Sakura: IN L.A.
Sakura: EVERYWHERE I GO, THE DUCKS COME TO ME!
Naruto and Kasumi: Oh, for fuCKS SAKE SAKURA-
Kasumi: Shh, here comes Sakura!
Sasuke: Quick, Naruto, start talking about boring nerd stuff!
Naruto: You know, nerd culture is mainstream now, so when you use the word "nerd" derogatorily, it means you're the one that's out of the zeitgeist.
Sasuke: Yes, that's perfect. Just like that.
Kasumi: My stomach growled super loud in French.
Kasumi: I would like to clarify, my stomach did not speak in French. It growled during French class.
Sakura: Bonjour.
Naruto: Le growl.
Sasuke: Hon hon hon, feed me a baguette.
Sasuke: What's your biggest fear?
Sakura: That I'll never be good enough for anyone.
Naruto: Everyone hates me and talks about me behind my back.
Kasumi: Zombies.
Sakura: ...
Naruto: ...
Kasumi: BUT they can open doors.
Sakura: This food is too hot... I can't eat it.
Sasuke: You're very hot, and I still eat you.
Everyone at the table: *silence*
Kasumi: YOU GUYS ARE DISGUSTING!
Naruto: One dinner... I just want ONE DINNER
Naruto: Sasuke! I can't do this stupid math!
Sasuke: What's the math problem?
Naruto: Well, we have to add the bed, subtract the clothes divide the legs, and hope we don't multiply.
Kasumi, covering Sakura's ears, while Sasuke smacks Naruto upside the head: Not going to lie that was hella smooth.
Kasumi: So, everyone, what does a story NEED?
Sakura: A character!
Naruto: A setting!
Sasuke, a gleam in their eyes, in a near-whisper: REVENGE.
Sakura: I have the sharpest memory here - name one time I forgot something!
Sasuke: You left me, Kasumi, and Naruto in a Walmart parking lot at 2 am a day ago.
Sakura: I did that on purpose, try again.
Kasumi: Christmas is canceled.
Naruto: You can't cancel a holiday.
Kasumi: Keep it up, Naruto, and you'll lose New Year's too.
Naruto: What does that mean?
Kasumi: Sakura, take New Year's away from Naruto.
Sakura: ARE YOU-
Kasumi: Fucking.
Sakura: KIDDING ME?! YOU-
Kasumi: Fucking.
Sakura: IDIOT!
Naruto: ...What was that?
Kasumi: Sasuke banned Sakura from swearing, so I'm helping them out.
Naruto: Is the plural of milf/dilf milfs/dilfs or milves/dilves?
Sakura: Milfs.
Kasumi: Milf/dilf is an acronym, you can't change the spelling to milves/delves.
Naruto: Wait, they're acronyms? What do they stand for???
Sasuke: Mom in late forties, dad in late forties.
Sasuke: I learned from the movie called M.I.L.F that I saw the trailer in theaters probably 5 to 7 years ago.
Kasumi: Mom/dad I'd Love to Fuck.
Naruto: WAIT, WHAT THE FUCK—
Naruto: I NEVER REALIZED IT WAS HORNY!
Sasuke: Oh, is it not a mom in her late forties?
Sakura: What? No! It isn't!
Sasuke: THE MOVIE TRAILER LIED TO ME!
Kasumi: Sasuke...
Sasuke: THIS IS WHY I DIDN'T THINK CALLING PEOPLE MILFS WAS ALL THAT BAD BECAUSE IT STOOD FOR SOMETHING HARMLESS IT JUST HAD A SLIGHTLY SEXUAL CONNOTATION!
Kasumi: I am entirely unsurprised that this is coming from you.
Sasuke: NARUTO, DOES IT MAKE SENSE WHY I CALLED THE DIARY OF A WIMPY KID MOM A MILF NOW BECAUSE I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST A DESCRIPTOR WITH FUNNY CONNOTATION!
Naruto: The word milf has been ruined for me.
Sakura: THAT'S ITS DEFINITION, IT CAN'T BE RUINED THAT'S WHAT IT MEANS!
Kasumi: Y'all is dumbasses.
YOU ARE READING
The Ghost - Shikamaru Nara
FanfictionMeet Kasumi Akama, a 12-year-old ninja who possesses incredible power, effortlessly outshining her peers. Despite her exceptional abilities, she remains humble and works well with her classmates. After passing her test, she is assigned to a team com...
