Wide awake

4. Outsider

Addy

I like to think that I am an observer. That's the role that suits me best. I like to watch people, their mannerisms, their ticks. I like being a third party because when I am involved, I don't really know what to do. I am usually likely to let people down.

I stand there, awkwardly staring at him while he stares right back at me. None of us say anything, him because, well what would he say? He was just sitting there when I approached. This is so different from when we first met. I wasn't thinking as much as I am now, which is weird seeing as how I am less sober now.

"At least you didn't throw a paint can at me this time." I say.

He narrows his eyes at me, tilting his head. Even I know how out of place and random that was but I am in a state of confusion so sue me.

"Are you drunk?" Kie asks.

"Nah..maybe lightly buzzed but definitely not drunk," I answer," kinda wish I was though." I add quietly.

"Hm?"

"Nothing. So..uhm, why aren't you.. doing your thing?" I ask, gesturing to the wall with my hands. Maybe I am drunk.

"What are you doing here?" Kie asks, cutting to the chase.

I stand on my tippy toes, tilting forward and backward nervously. Why am I so nervous? Just apologize. Use your words.

"I..uh well..see the.." I fidget but can't seem to put the right words together to explain.

"Hey you two!" Someone yells from a distance.

"Shit! Cop.." Kie says, getting up immediately before he starts running.

I look between him and back at the cop before I find myself running after him.

"Stop! Hey!" He yells after us, running behind us.

Kie stops near a backyard fence, urging me to hurry before he boosts me over. I land on my face on an inexplicably wet lawn before he lands skillfully on his feet next to me. He helps me up before we ran around the house to the front yard and leave the premises back onto the main road.

I feel the burning in my throat before the bile runs up my stomach into my mouth. I run to the side of the road, chugging practically every meal I had today. I'm still hunched over taking in deep breaths through my nose when I realize Kie is standing behind me, holding up my hair away from my face.

I stand up straight, closing my eyes. I really want this to be a horrible nightmare.

"Are you good?" He asks, sounding out of breath.

"Uhh..can we act like that didn't just happen?" I say.

He nods at my words, hunching over and taking deep breaths himself.

"Not much of a runner?" I say.

He raises his brows at me and I am reminded that I had just puked not two seconds ago and raise my hands in defeat. Well technically that was the alcohol's fault, I used to train hard when I was in cheer squad.

"I'm sorry." I finally say, when he stands up straight. I walk over to the other side of the road, sitting down on the pavement.

" Look, it really doesn't matter, it's fine you don't owe me an explanation or apology we don't even know each other. I won't say anything to you or anyone don't worry." Kie says.

His words sting. He is right, he is a stranger so his words shouldn't have such a huge impact on me but they do. I do care what he thinks.

"Is it okay if I just tell you anyway?" I ask," please." I add.