If Someday Never Comes

Chapter 50-Final Chapter

Sydney's POV

I walked around the rest of the day like a zombie with puffy eyes and a blotchy face but I didn't care. I wanted to drown myself in my work, in the one thing I had right now that made sense even if it was the reason I was tangled in this mess with Brooks. 

I had a few text messages from Quinn checking on me and couldn't work up the energy to respond. I had thrown my earbuds in and didn't even try to talk with the guys when they got there. They probably knew from the look of me that it was a good idea to engage.

 I had finished painting the bathroom, gone through every application, and called the ones I thought were good candidates to set up interviews in the next few weeks. I emailed Tinika about an update on the permits because I couldn't bring myself to send a message to Brooks, called to check on my mom after her first radiation treatment, luckily it went well and she was taking a nap Dad had told me. 

I sat down at my desk to start the list of inventory avoiding the thoughts spiraling through my head, when Phil's knock startled me. I pulled my earbud out of my ear, "Sorry for scaring you kid," he said, "but we're taking off." 

"Okay," my voice came out rough and tired, "have a good night." 

"Don't work too hard, okay? You're doing a great job." 

I don't know why but his compliment brought tears to my eyes, the emotions of the day weighing heavily on my chest. "Thanks, Phil" I choked out before he left and I was alone again to cry. 

By the time I had finished creating an inventory list, I decided to confirm the cabinet delivery and countertop selections with Jill, clean up as much as I could around the place, and force down a granola bar because I hadn't eaten all day. It was well after dark when I finally decided to call it a night. The whole day had moved in slow motion, I felt like I was moving in slow motion as my mind continued to replay Brooks's words from this morning, the way my mind kept tingling at the memory of his touch. It hurt so much to think about, everything that's happened between us but it felt so sincere, so real that it made it all that more confusing. 

I was pulled out of my thoughts when I heard the door open and shut, the clacking of footsteps against the hard floor. I knew it wasn't Brooks, but the person waiting for me as I walked out into the main room was the last person I ever expected to see. 

"Well, well, well, it's lovely to finally see this PROJECT," she enunciated as she looked me up and down, "that's consuming so much of my fiancee's time." Courtney spit. 

I felt frozen, unsure of what to say, and overwhelmed by everything that had happened in the last 24 hours. So I stood there with what I'm sure was a stunned look on my face, truly amazed that my jaw didn't actually unhinge itself from my body and find its way to the floor. 

"Courtney...I..." The guilt washed over me as I stood there in my torn-up bibbed overalls covered in paint, ratty ass combat boots, and emotions all over my face while she stood tall and confident with the perfect hair, makeup, and suit, stilettos I could never afford and her long slender arms crossed across her chest. I always knew how different Courtney and I were but the contrast had never seemed so evident. I felt ashamed for betraying her even if I didn't like her, women weren't meant to treat women that way and I didn't know how to express how deeply sorry I was...but I knew I had to try. "I'm really sorry for everything..." I started as her face remained cold and unaffected, "I never meant for any of this to happen." 

"Ha!" she scoffs, "Like I believe that for a second Sydney. You waltzed back into this town and set your sights on Brooks before the engine on the plane was cool." her narrow eyes slithered at me with disgust and I felt a pang of shame deep in my gut. I knew what she was saying wasn't true but it didn't make me feel any better for being a part of this mess. 

"No...I, I didn't," my voice still heavy but the need to defend myself felt strong. 

But she wasn't going to hear it, as she cut me off, "You two have always had this obsession with each other and  it's a little pathetic." She begins walking around the room her heels clacking so loudly in my ears. The judgment that radiated off her was thick and the more she eyed this room and rolled her eyes at everything she saw the guilt began to wash away. 

Now, I was pissed and didn't feel nearly as bad for what had happened between Brooks and me, even though I still don't condone cheating but that's a cross I'll bear later, right now I'd love nothing more than to bury that high heel up her..."But I'll forgive Brooks because I know he'll make the right decision for our family..." she turned and looked at me as her manicured hand patted her stomach. 

The gesture felt like a slap to my face and I know she knows it by the conniving smile that crosses her lips. "Family..." I question..." Are you..." I stop unable to form the words without vomiting all over the new floors beneath me. 

"Pregnant? Yes. Sydney I am." her icy tone cut through me like needles slicing through my skin. The pain was all over my body, stealing my breath and as much as I tried not to show her how her confession was affecting me I couldn't stop it. I swallowed hard as she stared right through me. 

I didn't know what to say or do so I stood there as I felt a hot tear fall down my face. I didn't even have the strength to wipe it away. 

Courtney didn't say anything else, she knew she had said all she needed to say so she spun on her heels and glided out the door.

The minute I knew she was gone I fell to the floor and the sobs wracked through my body. My shoulders shook, tears fell, and the cries grew louder as they poured out of me. 

Brooks was going to have a baby...with Courtney and no matter what that meant for their relationship, he would be in her life forever. It meant that the first time he would hold his child would be with her, that baby's first steps, first words, first moments would all be with her...I felt my heart breaking more than it ever had. 

My mind questioned when he found out and if it was before or after he told me he loved me if it was before or after we slept together. My heartbreak mixed with rage and betrayal, and I felt like my body was on fire and there was no way to put it out so I simply let the burn wash over me. 

I felt every hope, wish, and desire for what we had, go up in flames. It was over. 

Someday was never going to come for us. 

I came here looking for a way to leave the past behind me but I'm right back where I started and more destroyed than I ever had been before. 

I hated myself for it and I hated Courtney for telling me the way she had. I hated Brooks for not telling me at all but most of all I hated that I worried about him. How he was feeling and if he was excited or not. I hated that I wanted to call him, I hated that I cared at all but instead of judging myself for it, I allowed myself to feel it all. 

I picked myself up off the floor and wiped the tears and snot from my face. 

This time I wasn't going to run from it, I wasn't going to hide away the pain. 

Someday I was going to find happiness, I was determined to be free of this mess in my head and my heart.

I was Sydney fucking Graves and like my mom always said, I know that I'll be okay. 

AN: and we have come to the end of the second book *cue tears. 

What did you think???

What do you see happening in the final book! 

What do you want to happen? Tell me all the things!