Raspberries & Cream for Three (Boyxboy)

Chapter 29: Wooed.

Cameron's POV.

I was well made up when Keegan asked me out on a date without Kaiden being involved. I couldn't believe it when he actually held my hand in public as we walked along the pier, talking. Okay, there was nobody about and it was only for a very short time, but even so it was rather bold of him.

I could sense that Keegan was a little uptight. He was usually like that when he had something on his mind or was concerned about something so I asked him if he had some ulterior motive for us being out and about without Kaiden. I could tell from his reaction that I had inadvertently hit the nail slap bang on the head.

You could've floored me when he said that he was confused about his feelings and I could tell from his words and manner that he was being open and honest with me.

I knew from my own experience of Keegan that he found it difficult to trust people and his attempts to express his inner thoughts didn't always come out as they should. Despite his 'couldn't give a damn' hard exterior, his well hidden insecurities and vulnerabilities were just by-products of his horrendous upbringing.

Kaiden had told me confidentially that although Keegan had been diagnosed with a form of autism he had dismissed it as baloney and wouldn't accept it.

I had always known that Keegan mainly saw things as black or white and saw very little grey. He had this anal retentive condition that made him want everything to be correct. Everything had to be just so. If something wasn't it would vex him quite alarmingly.

He often hid his innermost feelings and emotions, he was the complete opposite to Kaiden on that score, because he felt that he couldn't express them in the manner that he wanted to. This often led to him being frustrated and angry with himself and I had often witnessed how this frustration and anger could quickly surface and get out of control. Take the confrontation with Kane, for instance, when Keegan struck out with his fists then asked questions later. Yet here he was, opening up like a butterfly opening its wings, allowing me to learn his most innermost thoughts.

It was by him opening himself up that I knew that he didn't just really like me but he actually loved me, regardless of whatever words were coming out of his mouth.

I found it sweet that he was trying to explain how he felt when he had no idea as to how he did. He said things that were contradictory to what he had said earlier and I could tell he was struggling to make sense of it himself. It had crossed my mind that he was trying to dump me but the deeply personal things he was saying soon had me dismissing that thought. I squeezed his hand a few times and smiled a lot but most of all I just listened patiently. It wasn't a one way conversation by any means. I interjected with my thoughts on numerous occasions and I was pleasantly surprised by the subjects we were covering.

It was with some trepidation that I broached the subject of sex, wondering if it was a subject too far but Keegan didn't flinch and remained open to talk about it. I took the chance to express how I really felt about what we got up to when we eventually got round to having sex. I had always assumed that it would be a difficult conversation and yet he sat there answering my questions quite candidly and even managing to ask some quite personal questions of me as well. Hearing that he was open to try anything once was something I, most definitely, wasn't expecting.

I took our conversation as being a box ticking exercise on Keegan's part and the more boxes he was ticking off the more he was opening up.

Finding myself in a rather uncomfortable position due to the nature of our conversation having an affect on my private parts I suggested we carried on walking. I saw the smirk on Keegan's face as I adjusted my jeans and on seeing his awkward movements knew he was having the same problem. I had to stop myself from making a witty remark because there was no way that I wanted to embarrass him and have him clamp up and go back into his shell.