The Tables Turned

Chapter-7

Mingyu is unable to think logically. He's scared. He is afraid of Wonwoo because of the way that his body still ignites for him, the way that Wonwoo has become embedded in his being like a galaxy made of radiant stars and inky clouds, the way that his heart still races whenever Wonwoo is around him, and the way that he constantly craves Wonwoo and that no matter how much he gets, it will never be sufficient. No matter the extent to which Mingyu tried to change, he was going to remain a starved and powerless boy, and Wonwoo was always going to make Mingyu feel the same way no matter how drastically he changed.

Mingyu is painfully aware that this is not what he should be doing anymore. He has been investing an awful lot of effort into that but he is still not capable of getting rid of the lingering Wonwoo feeling from both his mental and physical well-being for over a decade. And it only required a single evening for him to be thrown once again into that black pit. While going about his day in the company, he suddenly realized that only just one-half of the hole was there because Wonwoo wasn't.

For Mingyu, the day appears to pass by swiftly. Despite the fact that he's standing erect it feels like he's drifting in and out of public consciousness. He feels like a time traveler because how, ever since Wonwoo reappeared in his life, he continues traveling to the past. And certainly, he was. Mingyu draws to the realization that he has invested every moment of his life either in the past or in the future. He had only ever actually been fully present at every moment whenever he was with Wonwoo.

That day, Mingyu invited Minghao to have lunch by themselves this time without anyone else. Mingyu was a captivating orator. He pulled Minghao's chair, opened and held doors for him, caressed him like a delicate flower, paid close attention to his thoughts and desires, told him accounts of his transitions and hardships into taking over his father's position as a CEO, Mingyu absorbed Minghao's words like sage advice, Minghao respected Mingyu's personal space, and... it made Mingyu want to throw up. He feels ashamed of himself for not being able to love this sweet, kind man with all of his heart and for being so infatuated with Wonwoo that, even after a decade, there was no room left for anyone else.

                                                                              ...............

The following day, when he sees Wonwoo seated in his ordinary cubicle, Mingyu feels even more sick. Even though Wonwoo let Mingyu get inside his body more times than he had ever screwed a girl or woman, he remembers the extent to which he had loved the young Wonwoo when the boy dreaded the thought of being referred to as Mingyu's partner and hated to be considered anything other than a straight man. Mingyu wondered
how he could have fallen in love with the ignorant, conservative mess that Wonwoo was. After they had fallen back into this hell pit, Mingyu imagined what he could be doing to Wonwoo, Mingyu visualized himself fucking Wonwoo till he lost consciousness, while Wonwoo would just stare at him looking like he desired to be destroyed.

                                                                                ..............

After seeking to see Minghao continuously for a week and coming to terms with their grown-up relationship dynamics, Mingyu came to the realization that he too was interested in destroying Wonwoo. He could not tolerate being a kind, compassionate, and normal man. He needed heat, he needed the intense lust that flared up in the pit of his stomach every time he saw Wonwoo, and he needed the wild electric buzzing that only ever subsided when Wonwoo touched him. 

Every time Wonwoo got the call telling him that Minghao had arrived and he had to tell Mingyu, the tears that were about to spill out of Wonwoo's eyes were perfectly controlled, making Mingyu want to take Wonwoo inside his room and fuck him until he started crying—not from the pain of seeing him with another man, but from the pure joy of being torn apart in his arms. Though Mingyu was insane for believing such a thing, this was the way he was.