The Things We Leave Behind

Chapter 6

TW: this chapter contains profanity and underage drinking

The party was at a house twenty minutes from school. By the time we got there, it was packed full of people. Cups were everywhere and bottles of beer and tequila were on the counter. Logan grabs two beers and hands one to me. How do I tell him that I don't drink because my biggest fear is someone taking advantage of me again?

"Uh, no thanks. I don't drink."

He makes a confused face. "Why?"

MAKE UP AN EXCUSE!

"Uh, I uh. I don't like the idea of underage drinking. That's all," I lie. He narrows his eyes and doesn't say anything. Finally, he shrugs and sips his bear. My throats dry. I hate lying, especially to the people I'm close to. I wander around to the fridge and pull out a bottle of water. I chug is so fast that I can hear the water slosh in my stomach. I don't want to think about anything. I just want to forget.

I walk back to Logan and grab his hand. He puts his beer onto the counter. "Woah, Milton what's the rush?" He asks. No time to explain. I walk through the group of people dancing to a big staircase that leads to more room upstairs. I open a few doors before I find the bathroom.

I pull him in and shut the door behind me. I turn back to face him and take a few deep breaths. "You, okay?" he asks, concern washing over his gorgeous features. I take the few steps I need to get to him and take his face in my hands.

"Can I kiss you?" I ask. He looks surprised.

"Well, yeah obviously-" I cut him off as I press our lips together. He doesn't react for a few seconds but then he sinks into the kiss. His hands go up into my hair, creating a mess. "Cass," he says. "You, ok?"

"Uh huh," I tell him. I don't wanna tell him anything. I just wanna forget myself and my life in L.A. Maybe I will get drunk. That makes people forget stuff for a while.

He pulls back and grabs my hands from his hair. He holds my wrists as he looks me dead in the eyes. "Cass. I know I don't really know you anymore, but I know that this isn't you. Hooking up in the bathroom at a party? At someone else's house? My Cassie wouldn't do that. Is something going on?" His blue eyes hold mine while he waits for an answer I can't give him.

He wants to know what's going on. What I'm thinking about. But I can't tell him. Because if I tell him, I have to admit that it happened and that it's going to be a part of me. Forever. I'm not ready for that yet.

"I told you I'm fine," I lie, chuckling lightly. He's definitely not convinced.

"Cass. It's me," His face softens. "You can talk to me."

No. I can't.

"Oh, so now you want something to do with me?" I snap. "After you've ignored me for the last three years?"

He's face twists in confusion. "What?"

"You heard me," I state as I twist my arms out of his grip and move past him to the door. I unlock and open it and step out.

He calls my name as I close the door behind me. I quickly make my way downstairs and into the crowd of people so that he can't talk to me. My phone buzzes and I pull it from my pocket, expecting it to be Logan trying to find where I am. Instead, what I see makes my heart sink. This shit cannot me happening.

Unknown contact: Hey Cassandra, miss us?

The fuckers made a group chat and added me just to torment me. I leave the group chat and block all the numbers in it. I can't keep dealing with them. I'm in New York now. They can't get to me. Right?