Fifteen

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When Riyana pulled away she was hesitant- hesitant to exhale her breath, hesitant to look at his expression, hesitant to lean back in, hesitant to pull away. She felt dizzy as they stood frozen as other guests spun each other around on the ballroom floor just feet away, their expressions unchanged, as if nothing had happened. Really, nothing had happened, it was only a kiss, and far from her first. When she finally mustered the courage to look up at him she wished her gaze never left his chest. He was the same Sejanus, the same curl had fallen over his forehead, his lips just barely parted as they had always been, and his eyes, she still could not read the paradoxical mix of sadness yet peace that his soulful brown eyes shared with every glance. It wasn't his eyes, well no it was, but only his gaze. Riyana had wished he would look away. She felt like a damaged portrait on exhibit, the way his gaze was so intense, how it seemed he was taking in every part of her, the way her eyes creased with her smile, the way her lips were folding in as they always did when she was nervous, the way the right half of her lips always tugged up more with her smiles in comparison to its left counterpart. He noticed the parts of herself she had never cared to realize, and all these little things would become eternal underneath his gaze. That could not be it though, his gaze was too gentle all the same, he was simply there to observe the art, and he knew if he stepped too close, it would only begin to wither away, but at this moment, the portrait- her- she was beautiful and he would not look away. Riyana could not remember the last time she had been looked at this way, or if she ever had to begin with.

"Please switch partners with me."

Riyana flinched and exhaled much louder than she meant to. She dropped Sejanus' hand and let it hang awkwardly by her side, unsure what to do with it. She turned to see Beatrice making a pleading expression, but she was already making her way across the floor hand in hand with Aiden, and Riyana had no interest in taking her place.

"I'm sorry." Riyana quickly spat out as she turned back towards Sejanus.

Sejanus looked up from the floor and she immediately noticed the effort he was putting in to keep his top lip from lifting in the corners. "No!" He said, and almost immediately grimaced at how urgent he sounded. He looked back at the ground for a second and began to shake his head. When he looked back up he had completely given up on working against his muscles and a grin was wide across his cheeks. "Don't be."

Riyana looked away trying to hide her darkening cheeks only to see Andromeda Ravinstill across the room smirking and giving her a thumbs up. Sejanus looked to see what had looked to see what caught her attention and Andromeda looked away from Riyana and grinned at him. She started mouthing "Good Job", dramatically annunciating her words. Riyana broke out in laughter as she watched the mortified expression on Sejanus' face.

"I'm going to get some air." Riyana announced, hoping Sejanus would, but too embarrassed to straight out ask.

He did.

Out of the steps to the entrance of the manor, Riyana tugged off her silk gloves. Sejanus took them from her hand and folded them so they would fit in his pockets. It took nearly two minutes before either of them exchanged a word, and when they did they both spoke at the same time.

"So that-"

"Do you t-"

They both stopped talking and waited for the other to continue.

"You go." Riyana said.

"No you." Sejanus replied.

Riyana stared out into the setting sun before responding. "Do you think that we're," she paused as she tried to find the right words, "I don't know, bad people?"

"In what way?" Sejanus asked, sitting down next to her on the steps.

"For having fun, in the time of all this bad stuff." Riyana tried to explain.

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