[2] This Is Gospel For The Pookie-Bears

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a/n: Determined to find a P!ATD song for every chapter


The clarity of Illumi's vision was his first pointer to the tears being exhausted. He brushed a hand over his lashes—an act he'd refrained from doing out of boredom of the never-ending activity—and they came up dry all except for a dash of glitter.

It's done, Illumi thought. The sinking pit of dread mounted, surged, and washed over him with a defeated sway.

His life, his family, Chrollo—they were all gone—

But wait, Illumi thought, hands to his cheeks. He pushed them through his hair. Why can I still remember their names? Their faces?

He only had a split second to process, but that was enough to dredge up an image of Upstate New York. The memory was fresh and crisp in his mind though it didn't exist in the reality his siblings were living now.

Killua's funeral.

Killua's alive because of me now, Illumi reassured himself, blinking hard, and reopening his eyes to Pride disgracing Illumi with his presence.

Illumi involuntarily flinched back. He was at once relieved by the rigidity of his own facade—a tactic he'd developed in college in preparation for law. It was better to remain emotionless as a third party to most of his boss' exchanges.

Pride, at once wide-eyed, dropped his expression with a tilt of his head. Arms crossed, he studied Illumi in silence.

Illumi blinked back, growing more and more unnerved by the second. It had taken less time for the Sins to come to a consensus on Illumi and Gon's future. Juggling all nine of his colleagues' opinions on top of the memories Illumi and Gon had, Pride should have been able to read him in an instant and know that his memories were still intact.

But he doesn't know that, Illumi realized as Pride circled him like a test subject. He still can't read my mind.

"Interesting," Pride said.

Illumi opened his mouth and shut it when that act alone stopped Pride in his tracks.

Think! Think! Illumi thought, eyes flitting between the two slitted pupils bracketing the underside of Pride's eyes.

Tension built. Illumi's shoulders pressed higher, mind working overtime. Instinctively, Gon, Illumi, and the rest of his siblings had been able to identify the Sins just by being in their presence. Even without his memories, Illumi should have been able to recognize Pride for who he was.

Such was the way of the divine.

But, in his five seconds of panic, Illumi said this instead: "Who... are you?"

Damn, that was a stupid thing to say, he realized instantly as all four of Pride's eyes squinted at him in contempt.

"Do you think I'm that gullible," Pride said, "to believe your soul does not recognize Sin?"

If Illumi learned anything from life, school, and work it was recognizing the need to commit. Commit myself to a psych ward! Illumi thought, mortified at his own response.

Cocking his head to the side, Illumi gave his best impression of confusion. "Sin?"

The air crackled around Pride like bloody electricity. Droplets of raw fury ascended like snakes to the air above. They dissolved into fiery embers. "You—"

The word broke past his barred teeth like glass across Illumi's skin. As ignorant as Illumi could feign to be, he was not, under any circumstances, capable of ignoring this.

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