My Hanon

Dose Of Her

Kai

"How are you today?" My father broke the silence at the dinner table. Eating like this is really awkward. Most of the time we don't even talk.

"I'm great and you?"  I gave him a fake smile.

"Good. Your teacher says you've improved a lot"

"I'm glad that's the case. Thank you for giving me this opportunity"

He smiled ear to ear. That was exactly what he wanted to hear.

"Of course. I should have done this a lot earlier, but I'm proud of you"

I nodded, still having my fake smile on and then went back to eating. I wanted to go back to my room as fast as possible. Spend hours gazing at Hanon's beautiful face on our pictures. 

Maybe even call her. Hear her soft melodic voice.

Maybe this time I wouldn't be a coward and hang up on her face.

"I only want what's best for you. You don't need any distractions" He spat out the last word as if it repulsed him, "I hope you understand"

Of course I knew that by 'distractions' he meant Hanon, but she would never be a distraction. If I didn't get my 'dose' of her for a few days, whether that was staring at her photos, smelling her lotion or talking to her, I would fall apart. Go crazy.

"Yes" I nodded and tried to eat some more. I had no appetite ever since I came here, but I had no choice but to eat. At least I was being fed, not like last time I was here.

"I'm glad you do" He smiled widely.

The atmosphere was awkward, like always, so my eyes automatically wandered and my gaze fell on my mother. She had barely touched her food and she was staring at me. It was very unsettling.

"Is she making you uncomfortable?" Father asked.

"Oh no. I don't mind her"

"Alice stop staring at my son"

It was a bit weird that he referred to me as his son and not their son. She was my mother after all.

"Yes" She mumbled and looked down at her plate still full of food.

What is the point in having her here if he won't acknowledge her most of the time?

After we were done with the mean, I immediately excused myself to go to my room. I didn't want to stay there more than I absolutely had do. I passed by the security guy, not saying anything to him and went to my room.

I stared and stared at my phone.

I miss you. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you.

How long will this go on? how long can I keep up without her presence?

I figured sleeping would be better than being awake. My dreams were usually only of her, so I would be happy if I slept.

I slept pretty much the whole day. Everytime I woke up to her absence I went to sleep again. I didn't want to be here.

"Sir" I heard a firm voice, "Sir"

I woke up to see Paul standing at the door.

"Why are you in here?" I asked, annoyed.

"You've been sleeping all day, I-I was getting worried" He said, "I'm sorry, sir"

Him calling me sir made me feel very uncomfortable. He could basically be my father, "Please, just call me Kai"