Chapter 9

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"𝐿𝑖𝑣𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑎 𝑠ℎ𝑒𝑙𝑙 𝑖𝑠 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑦 𝑏𝑒𝑐𝑎𝑢𝑠𝑒, 𝑏𝑒ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑑 𝑖𝑡, 𝑤𝑒 𝑓𝑖𝑛𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑓𝑒𝑎𝑟 𝑜𝑓 𝑏𝑒𝑖𝑛𝑔 ℎ𝑢𝑟𝑡."

Hermione couldn't remember feeling so disoriented in her entire life. Thoughts jumbled, swirling in a terrifying whirlwind of coldness, she roamed the corridors of Hogwarts, her eyes lost in the void. She had just finished her patrol and could return to her dormitory. She had downed her bottle of whiskey two hours ago, and she still swayed a little on her legs. She was very lucky not to have encountered any students or teachers in this lamentable state. But already, her tongue numb and her limbs relaxed from the alcohol, she felt serene. Apart from her unhealthy fixation on the Slytherin she associated with, she felt at peace. Her scar didn't burn her skin to the point of unbearable pain. That was a good sign. She just found it unfortunate that these rare moments of respite, without suffering, were in the presence of Malfoy, or when she consumed toxic beverages. She wished she could rid herself of this need, to rediscover that part of herself that had disappeared over the past few months. She was even willing to search high and low to find the fragments of her soul and piece them back together.

But life had its limits, and so did Hermione. She wasn't invincible, even if her classmates seemed to think so.

The young Gryffindor hadn't only conjured her spirits after her conversation with Harry. She didn't care about Ginny's fits of jealousy or her refusal to attend a dull party. No, it was something else: a letter. She received one every two weeks. Its contents were short, vague, and carried a coldness. Nevertheless, she knew them by heart, as if between the delicate letters lay some secrets, some clues. It was ridiculous, yet she couldn't help but clutch the envelope she had received, tears in her eyes, trying to push away its significance. It wasn't important. She shouldn't have these kinds of expectations anymore. Hopes plunged individuals into a deadly and dangerous denial. Hermione knew the answers to her questions with certainty, yet she asked them repeatedly.

With trembling fingers, she counted the stones embedded in the walls of Hogwarts as she walked, her legs wobbly. When she reached for the handle of her door, she lost track of her thoughts and snapped back to reality. Malfoy. A smile extended her soft full lips as she heard the music pounding against the door. She could hear many voices. Surprising herself by listening, she tried to regain her composure. Through the thick wood, she captured the voices of several men, surely Blaise and Theodore. They had been spending all their time with her roommate lately, like an inseparable trio. Her smile faded in an instant, and she hesitated to open the only obstacle that stood between her and her home. Did she really need to bother going in this state? Draco would surely take advantage of the opportunity to mock her.

Sighing, disgusted that her thoughts revolved only around him, she faced her reality by pulling the snake-shaped door handled in a swift motion. Of course, the young Slytherin had cast a spell on it to give it that shape. Her appearance plunged the guests into an icy silence. The music continued to resonate within the walls of the living room. There must have been about twenty people, judging by the number of pairs of eyes that landed on her. She didn't pay much attention to them. No, Hermione was too focused on analyzing the new decor of the room. The walls were adorned with banners of the Slytherin house. Bathed in half-darkness, the room, rearranged with a bar in the middle, made Hermione think that there was no better place to be.

So with determination, she weaved her way through the guests, not giving them a single glance, and rounded the corner of the bar, where Zabini was pouring drinks. He gave her a look expressing all his surprise at her presence and stepped aside, raising his arms in the air. His astonishment at the young Gryffindor quickly turned into blatant amusement. Giving him a brief sardonic smile while keeping her eyes on him, she grabbed a bottle of whiskey and poured herself a drink. About to add some ice cubes, she was taken aback by the long fingers that grabbed her wrist without gentleness. She didn't take long to recognize them under the snake-shaped ring that adorned his right index finger. Malfoy.

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