The SiP Saga Chronicles

The Royal Wedding (Part 2 of 2)

Forty-three break-ups, seven failed engagements, and one dangerously loud stag party later, on a sweltering day in Y'ell, the three districts forgot their differences and united to celebrate the occasion of the Royal Wedding of Hello the Seventeenth and his bride-to-be, Hiya Tummirumbul.

By law, no more than five Hollar are allowed to speak at any one time, never mind cheer in crowds, after the devastating earthquake of 8.6, which led to wide-ranging soundproofing legislation across the planet. So the inhabitants of Y'ell, in anticipation of the Royal procession passing through the streets, wrote messages of support on placards and hung them outside their windows. It was an onomatopoeic forest of signs ranging from the standard 'WOOHOO!' and 'YAY!' to far more descriptive messages like 'CHEERING, DRAMATIC PAUSE, THEN MORE CHEERING.'

The royal palace was at the center of the city, sitting on a small hill. The architecture of the ancient building looked as if it was made from old egg cartons, blunt triangular domes protruding out in all directions, coated in terracotta tiles that reflected the light from the great sun Antares. At the foot of the royal mound was a circular wall that towered an entire six feet above the ground and enclosed the palace from the city beyond, barred by a thick metal gate that opened up to a ramp leading to the court's main entrance. Today, the place was decked out in pink and red ribbons in honor of the celebration.

In the center of the palace courtyard was a tall and imposing statue of the city's founder, Jour. Historically, Jour was revered as the primary influence behind the Hollar way of life, building the circular city and establishing the royal court.

The Hollar called him 'Good Jour' as he ruled for three hundred thousand years, opening trade routes to other star systems, gaining entry to the Intergalactic Council, and generally being a nice guy. He would eventually die after sneezing in an enclosed space, a surprisingly common cause of death on Haull, so much so that every year, the Ministry of Sound would run charity concerts to raise awareness about the dangers of sneezing.

Inside the palace, the groom sat on a candy-floss-colored throne, fidgeting in an uncomfortable crown that was too tight.

'FIDDLESTICKS!' Hello boomed, hurling the crown across the floor. 'I'LL WEAR A HAT. NO ONE WILL KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.'

There was a light knock at the door; it opened slowly to reveal the charcoal-grey face of Murmur, the Royal Attendant. Murmur was a Whis' but had cultivated a reputation as the most loyal and efficient member of staff, to such a degree that he had been elevated to the role of Royal Attendant, a position he had held for the reigns of four different Kings and Queens.

Murmur was a small Hollar, almost two-thirds the size of Hello, a slim sausage-shaped fellow with a lighter complexion than the jet-black of the Ro'ar and a shell whose color veered closer to maroon. Despite his reputation within the royal court and his lengthy and impeccable career in service of the crown, Murmur was a little uncomfortable around the supremely loud new King. Other rulers had been deafening, but the voluminous ferocity of Hello's voice, coupled with his quick-fire temperament, made the faithful old servant nervous.

'YOUR MAJESTY, THE FATHER OF THE BRIDE, WASSUP TUMMIRUMBLE, IS HERE TO SEE YOU,' Murmur announced with trepidation.

Hello sighed out of his eating mouth so as not to blow the castle wall into tiny pieces. 'OH GREAT, JUST WHAT I NEED, A PEP TALK FROM MY FATHER-IN-LAW. TREAT HER RIGHT, BLAH-BLAH, LOVE AND HONOR SOMETHING SOMETHING, NEVER TALK WITH YOUR MOUTH OPEN; YOU'LL KILL SOMEONE ETC....'

'MY COUSIN LOST AN ARM TO BREAKFAST SHRAPNEL,' Murmur muttered indistinctly.

Hello rolled his eyes, which, being on stalks, wasn't always easy to see. 'ALRIGHT, SEND HIM IN!'