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Adriana Flores 📍Camperdown, St Andrew.
She's nothing like me. That's a thought that's been running in my head ever since i gave birth to my beautiful daughter, Adriana.
Since the first words, the first steps, down to the first award from school i realised she's just a better version of me.
I know she'll always carry a hatred for me, although it hurts to think about it, it's the same way i felt so i completely understand her.
My mother fucked me up physically and mentally, making me get diagnosed with unwanted disorders that many people would hate to have.
If it wasn't for my mother, Adriana, i could've had a great relationship with my two children, but that could only be a wish.
Yes people, the whole family pon the mother side name adriana.
Adrian. Adrian is my first love, my first child. But i always knew something would turn out bad with him.
I remember the day i caught him after a long day of work, putting bullets in a gun that i had no knowledge of.
He claimed and said "It was fake" But i knew it wasn't, he was following in his dad's footsteps.
Even though i'm more than 40 years old, i'm very immature and if i could take back how i treated them i would.
Now i have nobody, i broke up with ronald and my 2 kids left me, there's just no hope at all.
I've tried to contact them but they would only shut me out and leave me with no reply so i gave up.
I knew ronald was cheating, i knew he didn't love me and would always go to clubs to get away from my " unloveable body " But i had nobody and i haven't experienced love since my children's father died.
I just wish one day they'd all understand me, but that's impossible for the abuse i put them through and that's no reason for me to let it out all on them but they once said, " For a child to hate their mother, their mother had to hate them first."
Although i never hated them, the actions that i did towards them makes it seem that way and i am so sorry.
Heading out to go to the supermarket, being in public after a while all i could see was him, my baby father.
That's why i barely went outside, i barely did anything because it would only remind me of him.
Even though i'm a terrible person i knew he would always understand me and he'd always try to uplift me.
Flashback 21 years ago.
'The dons girl' Ah suh dem woulda call me, although i said " i hated the name" deep down i liked it.
