actually had a migraine writing this in light mode
this chapter does not base on the real people, THIS IS ALL FICTION.
-
never make promises you can't keep.
thats what renjun knew. he knew not to make promises when he isn't sure.
"promise we'd all stay together 'til the end?"
"WE PROMISE!!!"
...he didn't know why everyone was suddenly ignoring him.
he never got along with anyone else in the group, except for chenle, but ever since he and jisung started dating, renjun had to put up with watching his own friends have fun without him.
he felt drained, tired, and teary everytime he was with the group.
"suck it up, renjun."
words renjun knew mark would tell him.
sure, he was strong, independent, and spoke like he could battle in a war,
but behind that, was a fragile boy.
he was disgusted in himself.
he was annoyed.
he sat on his desk, the moonlight shining over the plate he had taken a few hours ago
he didn't feel like eating, even if he wanted to, he couldn't.
it makes him sick.
he was always known to be the second big brother to the group, he was always known as the one who takes care of his friends
it was always "hows chenle?" "hows jisung?" "hows donghyuck?" "did you give jaemin his medicine?"
he was always happy to tell someone that he took care of his friends,
even when nobody checks up on him.
--
renjun had to gather up his courage to walk out of his room, as he did so, he spotted six people watching together in the living room.
their laughs burned him.
he sighed and made his way to the kitchen, crushing a pill and mixing it with cold water, quietly drinking it afterwards
nobody knows how much he wants to disappear.
fortunately, a friend has greeted him a hello.
a sharp, and cold friend.
the knife.
the knife slid against his skin, its bestfriend.
it slid as blood seeped between them, moving to a different spot to repeat the same thing
he watched his blood drop to the wooden floor, bringing the knife under the faucet and running it under the water then quietly placing it down on the counter, making his way back to his room to lock himself in.
his feelings left small footprints.
-
"you're getting weak because you don't do shit around here!!"
"excuse me?"
"you're excused. don't you see how fucking pathetic and dramatic you are?! you cry and cry and then what?! stain our floor with your damn blood?!"
"i didn't–" "fuck it, renjun! you're such a bitch!"
renjun paused, did mark just call him that? "hyung..."
