Knowing His Wife

𝟑𝟎. 𝐇𝐞𝐫 𝐎𝐮𝐭𝐛𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐭

Yuvaani

I switched off my side of the table lamp and with a heavy heart I tried to sleep. Sleep was far away from my eyes for an obvious reason. I learnt one thing for sure today. Whatever I do, it won't count. Even if I bleed myself to death, it won't count. My heart literally sank in my stomach when I heard that old lady's words for me. She freaking accused me for something I never did, and I never will. Hurting one year olds? Not even a question! I will die a thousand deaths the second I even thought to hurt them. And which mother on the earth hurts her own children? I protect them from everything, and she just accused me to hurt-

A sob left my lips and I felt him moving. He was also on the same bed, but I

knew he wasn't sleeping either. It has been a few minutes since he stepped on the bed to sleep. He called my name again and again but I didn't want to talk to him. Not just with him, but with anyone else. I just want to be alone. I want to dwell my sadness in the dark.

A few tears escaped my eyes thinking of the humiliation I faced about an hour ago. How dare she say I'll use them when they grow up? I would never do that. If I wanted to hurt the babies then why would I have been through the lactation implantation? It would be easy for me to not care about them if I was that evil right? Rage grew in my veins and my blood boiled thinking of her words. You can tell me if I'm wrong. But you can't fucking accuse me of something I never did. I won't stand that.

I hated how my anger was turning in tears, knowing there was no one to wipe them, again. It has always been that way. No one by my side. Stupid of me to think that the scenerio would change after marriage. I mentally marked a sarcastic laugh to even think like that. It would never happen.

Her mother just contradicted my mentality that things are getting better with time. She indirectly made me realise that I'm his second wife, and I'll always be. I can never be someone's first. I think she can't stand the fact that step moms can be good too. And the hell she always keeps me comapring with her daughter? I never even thought of comapring myself with her. Because I always knew, she was Aarush's love and she always will be.

My husband's love.

I feel pity on myself. Why am I even in his life when he still loves her? Where do I stand in your life, Aarush?

Do I even stand in your life?

I left a sarcastic laugh and closed my eyes in satisfaction as I got a few reality checks today. Tomorrow will be better. This was my last thought of the day.

When I got up there was no one by my side. I opened my eyes fully, and let them adjust to the daylight. My eyes felt heavy! I got up straight and placed my feet on the ground but I was still on the bed, in daze. I placed my elbows on my knees and face palmed myself.

"Hey" I heard out of nowhere. I looked up to see where his voice was coming from, but he was just next to me. I didn't bother to reply to him.

"Yuvaani" I heard him again, but this time he was sitting on his knees, clipping both his arms on either side of the bed. I forcefully met my eyes with his, because I don't want to talk with anyone right now. His eyes were concerned.

Concerned for me?

But by looking at his face, it all recalled the last night very freshly. A wave of uneasiness crept in my body and I felt rage all of a sudden. Even though I know Aarush wasn't at fault in this, but directly or indirectly he was connected to this.

"Talk to me please, your silence- I don't know what to do" he said genuinely, it reflected in his voice.

"I don't want to talk to anyone" I said being annoyed. I forcefully moved his arm from the bed and walked to the cribs. I found them empty.