I Just Want To Help You

Chapter Thirteen

Lexa Pov
The first couple weeks with out Clarke was hard on me. The kids weren't a problem because Octavia and Raven felt bad so they would help me pick and drop them off on days I needed to be to the station on time. The chief was also really helpful letting me leave early and come in late a lot of days. It was hard because I spend every morning and night with Clarke. Even when we are at work we see each other. I still look up when I hear an ambulance arrive to see if she is the one in it. Lincoln always gives me a sad look when he sees me do this. I know this is exactly what they were worried about when I first started dating Clarke but I am glad none of them say anything.

A week before Clarke is supposed to be done with the treatment I get a call from the treatment center. "Hello is this Ms. Woods" "yes" "I am calling about Clarke Woods, she is supposed to be released in a week but we don't think she'd made enough progress... well actually she seems to not have made any progress at all. She won't talk with any of our specialist or therapist. Actually she hasn't talked at all, it just seems like her mind is in a different place. She only lays in her room all day even if she isn't sleeping and doesn't attend group sessions" "So you guys want to keep her longer?" "yes we are calling for your consent" "my consent? What does she think about it" "we don't believe she is in the right state of mind to be making these decisions for herself. As her wife you can either authorize her release against our advice or consent to us continuing her treatment" "you can continue her treatment but can I come see her" "we don't advise it Ms. Woods but in this case maybe you can convince her to start accepting our help" "can I come by later today" "ya" I end the call and and am uneasy feeling settles in my stomach. Last time she got clean by herself. Maybe she was right and I shouldn't have pushed her to go.

I go there right after work and they have me wait in a separate room for her. When she walks in she sits across from me without even saying hi. So I get up and walk over to her before picking her up into a hug. I feel her set her arms on my waist but it's different than usual. When she pulls away from me I put my hand on her cheek and I tuck the loose hair behind her ear. I look into her beautiful eyes to try and see my wife and the mother of my children but all I see is the same girl I met three years ago who looked so fragile, like she could break at any second.

"How are you" I ask but she just says "fine" before sitting back down in a chair. "Aiden and Madi miss you. I miss you" she doesn't respond. "Clarke?" She just keeps looking at the ground. It's like she's physicals here but the rest of her isn't. I kneel down in front of her and cup her face and tilt her head up so she looks at me. "Clarke you have to try please" I tear falls down my face. "You have to try, Aiden and Madi cry every night because they miss their mom. They always ask where you went and why you left them and I don't know what to tell them. Clarke how am I supposed to tell them you will be gone for another month. Please you have to try this time" now my face is wet with tears as the first one falls from Clarkes eye.

"I am" she says in a whisper. "I know but please you need to try harder. Talk to the counselors start going to the group meetings. Can you do that for me please" I am begging at this point and she just nods her head. "Please say it. Say you'll try" "I will try harder I promise Lex" she leans down and kisses me and for the first time I see some emotions in her face. "I promise" she says one last time before we hug goodbye.

Two weeks later I get a call from the same number and my stomach drops. If they want to keep her longer again I will just move her somewhere that can actually help or maybe if she wants to try staying home I will let her cause no way is she staying there for another month. "Hello" "hi Ms. Woods, Clarkes made massive improvements since your visit and we wanted to let you know she will be ready to go home in a week if she agrees to attend the group meetings a couple times a week" this is amazing I think as we discuss when I should be there to pick her up.