Keeping Her 18+ (Her Series book three)

Alex

After spending a relaxing day at Wilder's side, I realized that I'm completely and utterly in love with this man. I knew I had always loved him, ever since that summer together, but this somehow felt like more.

I've been trying to hold myself back to protect myself, but he makes it impossible. He refuses to slow down or give me enough space to build my walls back up. He just keeps chipping away until there's nothing left.

Watching the way he cares for William, the way he's constantly checking in with me to ensure I'm happy, how he thinks of every little detail to make things easier for me before I even have a chance to think of it myself, God. This man is perfect. He's attentive, sweet, nurturing, and all consuming.

Wilder ordered pizza for lunch and then we spent part of the day playing with William in his room and the other part walking around the property seeing all the cattle and horses. It was nice, but my favorite part was watching William's face light up at all the animals.

We've just been lounging around and Wilder surprised me by cooking dinner, something he found amusing, and we ate together at his dining table, like a real family. We chatted about everything and nothing. William was the most relaxed I had ever seen him as he continuously told fart jokes and made us laugh until our stomachs hurt and tears were rolling down our faces. His eyes lit up and he had a big smile on his face the whole time. I realized then that he needs this normalcy more than I knew. The whole thing was comfortable and easy. I immensely enjoyed the domesticity of it all.

Now William is playing quietly in his room with all of his new toys while Wilder and I sit on the couch and watch a movie. I'm curled up with my feet tucked under me while leaning into his side with his arm wrapped around me as he absentmindedly plays with the ends of my hair.

I feel completely at peace and more relaxed than I have in a while, years honestly. I forgot how much I missed being wrapped up in him. I never want to lose this again, and I hope this thing between us truly does last a lifetime. I want so badly to just dive head first into this with him, to give in completely, and enjoy the ride. But it's easier said than done.

My own parents, the people who were supposed to love and protect me no matter what, left me when I needed them most. Just the thought of doing that to William makes my heart hurt. I could never do that to my child, but they did. They turned their backs on me and him. I'm so afraid that what he's feeling for me now will fade one day and then it will be too late for me to leave with my dignity and heart in one piece. I'm willing to try, though. I just hope it's enough.

I can feel my eyes getting heavy as the exhaustion finally catches up to me. After not sleeping well last night on top of the roller coaster of emotions recently, I'm done, my body is worn out.

"We should go soon. It's getting late and I'm exhausted." I mumble tiredly into Wilder's chest as my eyes fall closed.

"Just a little while longer, Goldie." His hand rubs up and down my arm in a comforting gesture.

"Just a little while." I agree as my mind turns hazy.

I'll just rest my eyes for a minute. Maybe two. Not long.