Alexandria, 4 years ago

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I met Wilder right before my sophomore year at college started. I was attending the University of Georgia, studying early childhood development, and some friends from school talked me into going with them to Gulf Shores, Alabama, for a beach getaway before classes started back. I was nervous since I had never left home before, but I was ready for some actual freedom for once.

I grew up in Georgia in an extremely conservative family. We went to church every Wednesday for bible study and every Sunday to listen to the preacher preach. I was never allowed to hang out with friends or leave the house unsupervised, even when I was eighteen. I was an only child so you could imagine how lonely it was. Being an only child is lonely in itself, but being an only child to a couple that was so extreme in their religion that they believed wearing jewelry was a sign of being a Jezebel? That was a whole different level.

I got accepted into the University of Georgia because of my grades and I got my first taste of freedom once I moved into a dorm there. If it wasn't a rule at the university that freshmen had to stay in a dorm, there's no way my parents would have allowed me to leave home and live elsewhere. I wasn't far from home but my parents weren't able to micromanage my life as much anymore. 

I still didn't have much freedom though, since I had to stay on top of my grades if I wanted to stay in school. I went home every weekend as one of the rules my parents enforced. I was never a terrible child or even an unruly one. You wouldn't know that by the way my parents acted, though. Heck, the most rebellious thing I ever did was sneak snacks from the pantry and hide the evidence in my bookbag in the fourth grade. I forgot to throw the trash out at school before my mom could do her weekly bag check, where she found my evidence. She blew a gasket and accused me of being a thief. My punishment was to stay up all night and pray for forgiveness. Then she took a switch to the back of my hands. So yeah, I didn't risk being punished by doing anything ever again.

The week before classes started back was the first time I had ever put my foot down and ignored my parents' wishes. My dad forbade me from going on a weeklong vacation with my friends, stating only harlot's and heathens do those types of things, while my mother looked down her nose at me wondering where she went wrong with a daughter like me for wanting to do something as scandalous as going to the freakin beach with friends. 

After seeing the normal lives my peers at school lived, I realized how over the top my parents had always been. I understood they wanted to protect me, but I believe it had more to do with their religion and beliefs than it did with me in particular. They would have pooped a brick if they learned I lied about attending Sunday service at the church by my school and that I was instead sleeping in because classes drained me during the week.

Before I went to college I attended a small, private church school. My graduating class consisted of about sixty people and their parents weren't much better than mine, so back then life was normal to me. Then I spread my wings and went to University where I learned I grew up in what basically amounts to a cult. 

It was jarring to learn that dying your hair and having piercings didn't mean you would burn for eternity in hell. The first year of college was one big wake up call after the next. I still didn't do anything rebellious though, but that was because I genuinely wanted to do well in school and make a good life for myself so I could finally be fully independent from my parents. 

A vacation at the beach with my closest girlfriends for a week didn't seem like a big deal to me. According to my parents though; we would be partying like rock stars, surrounded by sex, drugs, and rock and roll.

I just wanted to go to the beach for the first time and have some fun. So, I told them I'm an adult now and I'm doing what I want. I was nineteen for crying out loud. It was time to grow up and be who I wanted. It's not like I was going to drink or do drugs. I just wanted to feel the sand on my toes and relax on the beach. It was going to be fine. It was just us girls and my friends didn't do drugs. They drank at the occasional party, but they still made smart decisions. I couldn't wait to leave and feel like an adult for once.

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