Everything Avengers

How Sad Can He Possibly Be? (Part Two)

Again TW SH and $uicidal thoughts Dis be sad

Peter Parker never wanted anyone to know what he looked like under his smile. He was afraid, really. Afraid what they might think of him if they knew. Peter had already been through too much in his life. He didn't need his friends leaving him too.

So Peter carried on the best he could. He went on dates with MJ, hung out with Ned, and even let May teach him how to make Banana bread.

Peter told himself every day that he was holding up fine. He was doing great at keeping himself together. No one could know. No one ever would.

At least, that's what he told himself until the day Ned walked in on him changing out of his Gym clothes after class.

Peter had a strategy when it came to the locker room. Stall until almost everyone left, then duck into the last row of lockers and change as fast as possible. 

That day, Ned had realized he'd forgotten his backpack in the locker rooms after Gym class and went back to get it. Peter had been called to stay a little after class, so  by the time he got to the locker rooms everyone was gone and he didn't have to go to the back of the room. He was not expecting Ned to come in before he could pull his shirt on.

Ned sharply inhaled, and Peter turned around with a start, pulling his shirt on faster than Thanos could snap his fingers.

"Peter-" Ned started, but he just pushed around Ned.

"We're late for class." Peter mumbled. Ned grabbed the back of Peter's bag and practically dragged him back into the locker room.

"Peter, what happened to you? Who gave you all those scars? They were all over your arms, but-"

Ned stuttered to a halt when Peter didn't say anything, just kept his gaze lasered to the ground. 

"Peter, did you do that to yourself?"

Peter clenched his jaw and ground his teeth before nodding slowly. He hadn't lifted his gaze from some old chewing gum on the floor.

"Dude." Ned muttered. He immediately pulled Peter into a hug, ignoring the bell when it rang, signaling the start of their next class. "Why didn't you tell me? Does MJ know? Does anyone know? Dude,-"

"I'll tell you later, okay?" Peter said quietly. "Just... Come to my place after school."

"Okay." 

Ned brought MJ.

"Dude!" Peter harshly whispered. MJ crossed her arms. 

"Ned said you had something to tell me?"

Peter sighed, glancing down the hall to make sure May was busy. He grabbed his two best friends and dragged them to his room before sinking onto his bed. MJ took his swivel chair and Ned took a seat on the floor.

"Well?" MJ said impatiently. "Out with it."

"MJ-" Ned started, but Peter shushed him. Peter picked a spot on the floor to stare at and slowly rolled up one of his sleeves. He heard her gasp, immediately recognizing the scars. MJ Jumped up from the chair and lunged forward to hug Peter. She buried her face into his shoulder and he closed his eyes, praying they would still stay with him.

When MJ finally pulled away, Peter rolled his sleeve back down and found his spot on the floor again.

"Peter-" MJ started, but Ned cut her off again.

"See, I told you it was worse than a breakup."

Peter looked up. "You thought I was breaking up with you?"

MJ nodded and crossed her arms. "I might have jumped to conclusions. A little."

"I'd never break up with you. You and Ned are the only people in my life right now who now fully know what's going on."

"So you really haven't told anyone?" Ned asked.

Peter shook his head.

"Are you clean right now?" MJ asked, worry pressing her eyebrows together.

Peter shook his head again.

"Okay. We're going to work on that. Have you been clean before?"

"Yeah."

"How long?"

"The longest was a week."

MJ took in all of Peter's answers and mentally jotted them down. She used her super thinking skills and puzzled for a moment, leaving Ned and Peter in silence. Ned broke the quiet first.

"Why?"

Peter shrugged. "I've lost a lot of people who mean a lot to me in my life. I don't really know why."

MJ moved onto the bed with Peter and took his hand.

"I want to know why it took Ned seeing you shirtless for us to find out."

Peter sighed. He glanced out his window at the apartment building across the street. During the blip, someone had painted a mural of Peter as Spiderman, the Falcon, and the Black Panther standing together. Under the mural, they'd painted the words WE MISS YOU  . Peter stared at the painting almost every night from his rooftop.

It reminded him that someone cared about Spiderman.

But not about Peter Parker. 

Peter Parker still felt alone.

"Because..." Peter mumbled. "I was worried you'd think of me differently and not want to be friends."

MJ sighed. "Peter Parker, you absolute idiot. I will never not be your friend. I think Ned feels the same."

Peter looked up at Ned, who nodded enthusiastically and came over to hug Peter. MJ and Ned wrapped their arms around their broken friend and held him tight. They never let go.

"We love you, Peter," MJ whispered.

I needed this too ngl