DO DIL(TB FANFICTION)

-2-

MURTASIM 

As the fact that had been said by haya to me spiraled in my brain , I sought to found my mother who could give me the conclusion of this matter , and to ask her all the question which was making me doubt meerab's identity 

I found my mother and asked her 

"MAA! Meerab kon hain?" I demanded an answer to satiate the vortex of queries I had for meerab and her lost identity 

my mother replies in a pacifying tone "oh to tumhe pata lagaya , main tumhe khud batane wali thi "

I cut her and said "kab ? shaadi ke baad , pehlay ya kabhi nahi , aur hairat hain ap meri shaadi aisi larki se karana chahti hain jiske waldiyat par hi sawaal hain."

"Murtasim...." my mother began but I retaliated 

"Kon hain meerab ? yateem hain ? la waris hain , ya goud (adopted)liwi hain , kya pata jayaz hain ya na jayaz hain(who knows is she legitimate or illegitimate )! "

I was blurting out all the questions that flowed through me as anger , as harsh words related to her , but my anger was at the betrayal of her supposed being the daughter of my father's friend which was all a lie , in this I didn't notice chacha saab coming and he screamed on top of my voice the truth of meerab being his biological daughter and as to why he had left her at the guardianship  to waqas chacha and anila chachi 

the truth left me in shock and I felt ashamed of the words I had blurted out in the question to her identity , I felt stinged in the heart and I thought as finally I knew why meerab was in such disheveled state when encountered me in courtyard , I went through a whirlwind of emotions when I heard the truth , and I thought that if this impacted me this much what would she feel as all her life she was living a lie 

I left to find meerab ,and saw her in the garden adjacent to my bedroom sitting in lost thoughts  on the bench 

My heart wrenched at her sorrowful appearance , she had her eyes closed as if she was trying to find a moment of peace in the bitter and cold occurences of the day that had brought her whole life down . 

I went and sat on the bench opposite the one she was sitting 

I asked in a soft voice "kaisi ho ? tabiyat behtar hain kya "

"humdardi jatane aye hoo ? ya mere haal pay hasne aaye ho ?" meerab said in a voice that screamed her vulnerabilty and that told that she was trying to show herself as strong as she trusted none with her grief

"Dono bhi nahi .." I began 

but she cut my line and said "to phir tars khaney aaye ho hmm banta hain , mere haal pain tars hi khaya ja sakta hain "

the loneliness the sadness and the vulnerability in her voice had reached to a higher pitch which churned my insides 

"tars nahi, na hi humdardi , khyaal se puch raha tha "

"hairat hain mera khayal tumhe ho raha hain ."

"jau yaha se ye khayal , dhoka aur mohaabat ne mere liye sans lena tak dushwar{difficult} kiya hain "

she was crying and her tears flowing down her cheeks yet her eyes held an emptiness which was a direct contrast to her usual feisty self 

I was impacted by it yet seeing her I didn't want to leave and offer her comfort and reassurance but I left offering her privacy to process everything 

MEERAB 

I do not want to see the face of these people ever again , every moment of my life is a lie , every moment , every single thing . 

the pain that is searing through my heart is feeling like a thousand knives all at once shredding my heart into pieces 

my fingers trembling as I pass a glance at the and my head paining like it is gonna burst 

my breathing isn't composed it sharper intakes of air yet none fulfilling their purpose as if air has lost all of its oxygen 

I stand up with great efforts and go to my room which has been cleaned of the ashes of my memories 

I sat on my bed and and ingested a pill that would reduce my head ache and offer me a sleep like the dead with no dreams and no thoughts to haunt .

I lay on my pillow and wait till medicine offers me the comfort I was in desperate need of 

A/N yes these first few chaps are a bit sad and slow but soon they will progress 

much love 

SAM