The Boiling Point | ✔️

34 | r i f t

SUMMER

I looked at the windows on the pregnancy tests, and tears immediately welled.

Tears of relief.

My muscles slackened, I wiped my eyes, and it felt like I was taking the first gulp of fresh air after being on the brink of drowning. Everything that hung on the line while I sat in that stall had suddenly vanished.

When I walked back to our table and Drew's restless gaze met mine, one shake of my head prompted an earth-shattering smile. He huffed out his relief and drummed his hands on the table before he lunged forward and kissed my cheek. And in celebration, we even ordered a slice of chocolate fudge cake to split. The coffee shop wasn't dull anymore, the air wasn't suffocating, and our futures remained untouched.

"Man, you really shook up my day, Sunshine," he said, scooping a bite of cake on his fork.

"Sorry." I chuckled. "If we hadn't run into each other, I wouldn't have roped you into this stress at all. Unless the test was positive, obviously."

He studied me as he chewed, his lips slightly curving up.

"What?"

"Mm. For a minute there... I dunno." He blew air from his cheeks, suddenly looking a little sheepish. "I'm not ready for a kid. Clearly. That was fucking terrifying." He breathed a nervous laugh, glancing at the many shreds of a sugar packet he had been tearing while I was in the bathroom. "But if it had to happen right now, if I had to be tied to someone for the rest of my life... you're the one I'd want to be tied to."

The chocolate frosting seemed to sweeten in my mouth. But then I felt something shift in my chest. In my heart. I looked at Drew with an unmistakable wave of melancholy washing over me. He was also the one I'd want to be tied to - but I was so glad I wasn't.

Right then, I knew with utmost certainty that all of those futures I had envisioned in the bathroom had been visions of fear. I knew what I truly would have done if the test had been positive. Because at eighteen, my life was just beginning, and I couldn't change my career path. Not for anything or anyone. And that call was too close.

I slid out of the booth and crossed over to his side, nestling against him. I wasn't worried about anyone we knew seeing us in that part of town, all I wanted was to be close to him. He draped his arm around my shoulders as we had our cake, and we talked. Even when there were only crumbs left, we talked about what we meant to each other. We talked about Ella and how messy the situation was. And we talked about the heavy cloud of a future we had been avoiding from the beginning.

By the time we left the coffee shop, Drew and I had decided that we had reached the end of our fling. Relationship. Whatever we were, we were over. Earlier than we thought, and not at all in the way we thought, but there wasn't room for another scare like that. We might not have been as lucky if there was a next time.

As much as I knew it was right for us, I still cried myself to sleep that night. And many nights after. Ella picked up on that, too. Not my crying, but my overall despondency. The loss of my glow.

A few days after the pregnancy scare, I stood in the kitchen rolling balls of peanut butter dough. Just regular old cookies, nothing special. During my time with Drew, my baking sketchbook had been in constant activity. He was an unexpected source of inspiration, driving my creative juices on a daily basis. But that inspiration had dropped when we did.

Ella wandered into the kitchen and pinched off a taste of dough from the mixing bowl. I vaguely heard her talking, but it was like I was underwater.

"Summer? Summer!"