Seasons

Seal The Deal

Anntonia's POV:

We wrapped up the last rehearsal just now, and the girls started to leave the arena after that announcement that seven delegates would be flying to Mexico after the coronation to attend the Miss Universe skin care gala event.
 
It's a pleasure for the chosen delegates, but isn't it draining? Imagine hoping to win the crown, and you probably lose the chance, but instead of resting and having the chance to process everything out, you would have to do one more thing as a candidate.
 
Anyway, it's close to 8 p.m. already. 
 
I have been having a hard time breathing since earlier, as I refrain myself from looking at the time because I am just realizing that it's already nighttime.
 
I don't know what to do anymore. The only way I can't think of how I could obey what Max wants is to tell Michelle that I was already feeling like I still love Max even up to this time, even though it's a complete lie and she wouldn't believe it. I know Michelle trusts me so much that it won't convince her if I say that kind of thing to her.
 
We already built a very strong foundation for our love, and I can't make things up just to follow what Max wants. I don't want to intentionally hurt her just to save her from our own friend.
 
This is great. We are only a few hours away from the coronation, and Max would put us in this kind of situation.
 
What a considerate woman.
 
"Ann, is everything okay?" Miss Laos went beside me. 
 
"Why aren't you leaving yet?"
 
"Later, I don't want to go with them. It's crowded in the hallway for sure." Miss Laos explained. "What happened earlier? Why did you do that?"
 
"I'm sorry for shutting the door on you."
 
"It's not my concern. What I am curious about is why you're acting like that woman does not hold you on your neck like you're something she has to control." 
 
I understand that Miss Laos is just concerned about my well-being because she's also a witness to how terrible I was feeling. But now is not the time to open up everything. It's a whole mess, and I feel like I have to figure things out on my own.
 
After all, it must be my fault. All of them.
 
"You don't want to talk about it?" Miss Laos softly said, like she was trying to understand my silence. I just nodded and stared at the Miss Universe logo that was flashed on the big screen.
 
"But, Anntonia, I am not the one who needs to hear this, but I feel like I need your assurance too." Miss Laos said as she got my attention. 
 
"Hmm?" 
 
"You love Michelle, right?" 
 
"You know the answer to that already..." I weakly responded. Unable to say the words because if I do, I might say them for the rest of my stay here and wherever I go.
 
"Anntonia," Miss Laos said, moving closer. "Why do I feel like something will fall apart? I am not making you overthink; it's just that there is an evident emotion in your face that tells me something. Not to mention that this is the first time that the woman named Max hasn't been around you since she came here."
 
"I don't know."
 
"You're unsure now? You were just so clear about what you feel for her, right?" Miss Laos added quite a bit of volume to her voice, indicating that she's not expecting me to say such things.

The two of us were now surrounded by silence. I never dared to answer, and she wasn't forcing me either.
I really have time to think. I wouldn't come at her unprepared. I have no choice but to do what Max wants, or else she will suffer from her cruelty. She doesn't have to be involved in this.
 
I need to compose myself and see what I can do to find a way to tell her. Because if I came without any plans, I might just end up kissing her just to give her the deepest assurance that I did not mean anything I would say.
 
"I need to end things with her." I said after the silence. Miss Laos didn't even flinch or react negatively. She just looked at me like I was doing something wrong.
 
"You need, but you don't want," Miss Laos emphasized. "You're being controlled. Why are you letting that happen?"
 
"I have no choice."
 
"Michelle would always understand. It doesn't have to reach that point. You know that if you do something to actually end it, you're just lying to yourself."
 
"It isn't that easy. It's a matter of keeping her or wasting every preparation she spent."
 
Miss Laos sighed and stood up. Then I just realized that the arena is almost empty, and we have to leave too.
 
"I am telling you, Anntonia. Don't break the heart of the person who tried so much to heal your broken heart and show you the kind of treatment you deserve. It will be a different level of pain. Think this out." Miss Laos pointed out, and I couldn't tell you how much it affected me. Her words cut deep, and all of them make so much sense.
 
The two of us left the venue, and my mind is still preoccupied by what she said. I am torn between believing that Max can actually do what she threatened me and believing that we can make this together.
 
Miss Laos and I reached our room without talking. She's probably giving me time to process my thoughts and make the most favorable decision.
 
I went to the bathroom and faced the mirror. I washed off my make-up so that it wouldn't stay on my face any longer. I took off my outfit that I wore during the rehearsal and replaced it with the bathrobe. I put my hands on the countertop to support my weight as I breathe in and out, forcing myself to come up with the best decision for the two of us.
 
"Anntonia."
 
I almost threw the comb I was holding to the person who just talked and is now standing at the door of the bathroom. My eyes widened as I stared at her figure, denying to believe that she's actually only a few steps away from me.
 
Miss Laos appeared behind her back and looked at the two of us with so much support and empathy. "Had to do it, Ann. I apologize for surprising you."
 
"I am not ready," I responded to Miss Laos.
 
"We're good here. Thank you." Michelle said to Miss Laos. She just nodded and smiled at us for the last time before leaving us.
 
My eyes went to Michelle, who was still looking at where Miss Laos was heading, and then she met mine.
 
"You have something to tell me?" Michelle said with her arms crossed over her chest. She was wearing that blank expression she's been showing me before.
 
I opened my mouth as I attempted to say a word so that I could start explaining myself, but no one escaped my mouth. It's as if I'm not actually ready to see her.
 
Michelle's stare was piercing right into my soul. She took a step forward, closer and closer to where I was standing. Every step she takes, it's as if she's taking one breath away.

Her stare was intense, and I am drowning.
 
"Did Max demand you end things with me?" Michelle said without any brake, and it made me hitch my breath. She's taking too many slow steps, like she's teasing me. I would pull her if only I was not frozen at where I was standing.
 
I can also feel my feet and hands freezing. I was already gripping at the comb so hard, trying to contain my nervousness and my anticipation of being back in her warmth.
 
"Dee..."
 
She was now standing in front of me. I was about to step backwards, but she grabbed me closer, making me unintentionally hold on to her shoulders.
 
My lips were just parting because I was literally speechless. I can't say what I have to say, and I can't say what I want.
 
My eyes were still in panic mode, and I was looking everywhere just to avoid meeting her gaze. Because if I do, I could do something more dangerous than this.
 
However, my eyes unconsciously landed on her lips. I gripped her shirt to stop myself. I was internally scolding myself for being too obvious.
 
I could just kiss her.
 
My eyes went up after taking a second to admire how her lips looked so daring and soft, and I slowly met her eyes that were already looking at me for, I don't know, how long.
 
"What did I tell you about ending a relationship with a significant other?" Michelle asked, pulling me closer to her body.
 
It's making me insane.
 
"T-That.. Hmm." I cleared my throat to stop myself from stuttering, not to mention that my voice kept on cracking. "That it must be the two of us."
 
"Very good."
 
I bit my lower lip upon hearing that. I do know that I love being complimented, but... Why is she complimenting me like she's perceiving me as a little good girl? And why am I liking it?
 
I caught her eyes looking down on my lips, and it's making me weaker. The tension is too strong, and this is not the kind of talk I was expecting.
 
"So..." Michelle paused and smiled at me like she knew well that I was not ending what we had. She knows what she's doing to me. "What are you going to say to me?"
 
"Max said I must end things with you tonight." I directly confessed.
 
"Are you?"
 
"Do you think I can?"
 
"It's not for me to decide."
 
"Ending this is the last thing I'll ever want to happen. Dee, you knew well how much I--"
 
"What?" she said, encouraging me to continue, but my mind says no, not yet.
 
"You know it."
 
"I don't."
 
"I just don't want to end this with you, Dee."
 
"We're on the same boat, Anntonia," Michelle responded, making me smile. It's like a breath of fresh air knowing that, again, I am not in this alone. "So, how do we seal this deal--"
 
I cut her off when I tiptoed and planted a peck on her lips. I was shocked by what I just did, and so was she. It took me a few seconds before I leaned forward to kiss her again.
 
I felt her responding. Her lips were pressing on mine as she comfortably tightened her arms around my waist, and my arms were now wrapped around her neck, giving me the chance to pull her closer and feel how soft her lips were.
 
Being able to feel it on my own makes me go crazy. It's giving me goosebumps, and I feel like I was internally going feral.
 
That was my first kiss.
 
I suddenly felt embarrassed about what just happened, so I consciously pushed her away and ran out of the bathroom. I jumped on Miss Laos' bed to hide myself from her.
 
She went out of the bathroom too, and she was smiling ear to ear, and her chinita features were showing again. I was about to cover my face with the blanket, but I was, again, frozen on the spot when I saw her mouthing something to me.

'I love you.'

---------------------------------------------------
A/N:
Label: Wala 😔