Two college students confront the way of life while reaching out to their sexualities, feelings, the first and last acts of adolescence, and the beginnings and realities of adulthood.
While this work of fiction pilots friendship, familial love, bet...
"If you become a bird and fly away from me," said his mother, "I will be a tree that you come home to." —Margaret Wise Brown, The Runaway Bunny
A taste of you slipped into me like moonlight in a locked church. —Janet Lees, Reconsecrated
Jude to Harold & Julia: "The axiom of the empty set is the axiom of zero. It states that there must be the concept of nothingness, that there must be the concept of zero: zero value, zero items. Math assumes there's a concept of nothingness, but is it proven? No. But it must exist.
—So I wish him goodbye; I wish him the answer to the axiom he so loved." —Hanya Yanagihara, IV: The Axiom of Equality, A Little Life
▶︎•၊၊||၊|။||||။၊|။•
soundtrack title: us, again, here, whole
baby teeth by flower face " if i can't hold you like a lover, i won't hold you, hold you at all "
" i wear your bruises on my shoulder now forever and evermore "
angela by flower face " but I swear you were real in my hands "
strangers by ethel cain " i tried to be good, am i no good? am i no good? am i no good? "
gibson girl by ethel cain " where i can be immoral in a stranger's lap "
ptolemaea by ethel cain " heard you, saw you, felt you, love you love you, love you, love you, love you "
softly by clairo " baby, i'm doing it differently "
each time you fall in love by cas " how come you never give in? "
opera house by cas " i'd rather be out there staring death right between its eyes now "
krystal by matt maltese " i'm a mess and i'll never love anyone else "
curl up & die by matt maltese " i was just the chip on your tooth and i liked being that "
leopard limo (archive ll11) by alexa demie " and your tongue between my thighs "
white teeth teens by lorde " 'cause i remember the rush when forever was us before all of the winds of regret and mistrust now we sit in your car and our love is a ghost well, i guess i should go, i guess i should go "
" but i still remember everything how we'd drift buying groceries how you'd dance for me "
400 lux by lorde " (and i like you) (and i like you) (and i like you) "
bravado by lorde " i'm faking glory "
crack baby by mitski " crack baby you don't know what you want "
thursday girl by mitski " tell me no, tell me no, tell me no "
i bet on losing dogs by mitski " how you'd be over me looking in my eyes when i cum someone to watch me die "
heaven by mitski " as i sip on the rest of the coffee you left a kiss left of you "
remember you omnicord by trillian " and i need to save you, but who's going to save me? "
& lastly,
Author's Note
dear reader,
kindly expect slow updates from this book, as i am working on my others as well. do feel free to read them, tend to them, & care for what goes on in my head—which i will be thankful for, if you will. :)
please, DO NOTE THAT : A. this book is, of course, not in its final structure; B. expect grammatical errors / typos that you may encounter along the way (feel free to point them out in the comments; i'll gladly reword / rephrase / fix); C. i'll update at least 1 chapter a week; D. this is slightly based on real events; E. this is a slow-read / slow-burn piece of writing — plot thickens until around ACT III-IV; F. this contains trigger warnings: mature content, mildly obscene language, abuse; mental, emotional, physical, addiction, eating disorder, female oppression, social stigma, violence, toxic relationships, & sexual themes (ACT III-IV and so on . . . ) & this is to be read at your own risk.
i will appreciate your comments, suggestions, insights about the book. that's about all. thank you in advance !!
all the love, yara
[ best read in Hoefler / Palatino, smallest text, white background ]
enjoy, hun.
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