Gossip Girl Season 1

Seventeen Candles

Gossip Girl : According To The Catholic Church, Mortal Sin Can Only Be Absolved Through The Sacred Act Of Confession, But It Looks Like A Certain W.A.S.P. Princess Has Recently Found Herself Desperately In Need Of A Little Unburdening. And Who Is The Man Upstairs To Discriminate?

[IN THE CHURCH]

Blair : Forgive Me, Father, For I Have Sinned. It's Been... A While Since My Last Confession. For Exactly 20 Minutes, I... Succumbed To Inebriation,

The Priest : What Troubles You, My Child?

Blair : After Being Broken Up With My Boyfriend For Exactly 20 Minutes, I... Succumbed To Inebriation, Performed At A Speakeasy And Surrendered My Virtue To A Self-Absorbed Ass who also happens to be my friend's ex boyfriend or whatever they are now. The Only Good News Is That He's A Total Pig Who Will Act Like It Never Happened. Thank God. Ahem.

The Priest : Hum Hum.

Blair : Sorry. Truthfully, I'm Not Even Catholic.

The Priest : You Don't Say.

Blair : But Losing My Virginity To Chuck Bass ? None Of My Friends Will Ever Understand especially Alisha...she will probably kill me.... I'm Ready For My Punishment. Whatever You And God Think Is Fair- Flogging, Fasting, Putting That Thing With The Teeth Around My Thigh, Like Silas.

The Priest : How About Some Food For Thought Instead ? Don't Drink. Keep Your Clothes On. Try Avoiding Those Who Might Cause You To Stray.

Blair : Oh, I Plan To. Thank You, Father. It Was Very Good Advice. You Don't Grant Birthday Wishes, Do You ?

The Priest : I'm A Priest, Not A Genie.

Blair : Well, The Next Time You Talk To Him, Would You Ask Him To Send My Boyfriend Back To Me?

[ON THE STREETS]

Chuck : Well,This Is The Last Place I'd Expect To Find You.

Blair : Go Away,Chuck. I've Been Given Orders. Practically From God Himself To Avoid You.

Chuck : Would You Consider Avoiding Me Over Breakfast?

Blair : Sorry, But As Is Tradition On The Day Before My Birthday, I'm Heading To The Jeweler's to Put Some Pieces On Hold For Eleanor And...

Chuck : Nate ? Oh, I Don't Think Nate ? He'll Be Singing "Happy Birthday" This Year.

Blair : No One Knows That Nate And I Broke Up, And It's Gonna Stay That Way So I Can Fix This, And I Don't Think  Alisha would want to be your girlfriend anymore and nate would not want to be your  Best Friend If He Knew

Chuck : If He Knew How Much I Enjoyed The Removal Of A Certain Chastity Belt In The Back Of This Very Limo ?

Blair : From This Moment Forward, The Events Of Last Night Will Never Be Mentioned Again. Is That Clear?

Chuck : Not As Clear As The Memory Of You Purring In My Ear, Which I Have Been Replaying Over And Over.

Blair : Well,Erase The Tape, Because As Far As I'm Concerned, It Never Happened.

Chuck : I'll See You At Your Party Tonight.

Blair : You're Officially Uninvited.

Chuck : Never Stopped Me Before.

[humphrey loft]

[alisha wakes up in a bed and sees wyatt sleeping on the floor and she gets up unaware that he is awake and she turns and sees him]

alisha: morning...thanks for letting me crash here...that is the last time i drink on empty stomach...

wyatt: its ok...want some coffee and waffles

[alisha then nods and they go to the kitchen and she sits down]

alisha: i really like your loft by the way...

wyatt: oh yeah...

alisha: you sound suprised

[wyatt then hands her some coffee]

wyatt: just your used to a certain lifestyle..something tells me slumming it in a loft in brooklyn...isn't it

alisha: no...but its a nice escape...plus it seems cozy...

[wyatt then smiles and he hands her a plate and starts to eat a waffle]

alisha: oh...these are so good