Snowed in

Part 2

Phoebe

I sip my tea, waiting earnestly for the warm liquid to meet my lips. Although I'm bundled up in about a thousand layers, even just looking out at all of the snow that's falling sends a shiver down my spine. Curled up in my seat, I try not to appear awkward as a response to the silence clouding the room. I'm sitting with my cousins Logan and June, but none of us are talking much. There's always been this awkward dynamic between us, a small sense of tension that we can never seem to shake. I always feel like there's a sense of competition between the three of us, seeing as we're a relatively similar age. But I don't think it's something we've created; I think it's stemmed from our parents constantly trying to outdo each other.

Although June and I are the same age, the similarities stop there. We don't go to the same school or anything, but I know who she's friends with based on who she knows from my school. And I don't mean to judge, but just from her friends, she seems like the kind of girl who enjoys subtly making fun of girls like me. Where I like books, June likes talking to friends, talking to boys. She's a social butterfly, whereas I break out in a nervous sweat when I have to talk to people I don't know. Regardless of how long we spend together, I don't think that we'll ever be entirely comfortable with each other. And it's kind of the same with Logan. He was popular all throughout high school; you could tell from the way he walked, and the way that my aunts always had some sporting achievement to rave about.

Sometimes I feel like I don't really belong in my family. Like there was a mistake, and I was switched at birth or something. I've never really had the competitive desire that seemingly runs in my family. Both my parents, my aunts and my grandparents all work or did work for the family construction business, and have put their entire lives into fulfilling this desire for power, to eliminate the competition, to make as much money as possible. But really, none of that stuff really matters to me. But everyone wants it to.

In my parents mind, in the middle of next year, I'm on a one-way flight to Oxford, to study economics and law, which will properly enable me to continue on their business model. Everyone in our family goes to Oxford, they've told me, with the undertone that I too will attend Oxford, and continue living out their dream.

Only my Grandma knows that I don't want to go to Oxford to study economics and law. She's tried persuading my parents to let me choose, but they won't listen. They never do, so I'm not altogether surprised.

The dining chair beside me screeches across the hardwood floor, and I turn to see my mum carrying a mug of coffee. I avoid eye contact as she lowers herself into the seat. I have no idea what kind of mood she's in until at least 10am, so most of the time, it's easier to avoid her.

"Have you started your schoolwork yet?" She asks, raising an eyebrow.

"No, not yet." Christ. We've only been here twelve hours. Give a girl a break.

My mum shakes her head slightly, taking a sip of her coffee.

"You could have done some on the plane. You didn't have to watch movies for half the flight."

Actually, mother, it was in fact essential that I watched 2000's romcoms during the flight. Are you insane? That's what I would say, if I wasn't scared of being beat around the head, or exiled for the rest of my life.

"I always get it done, mum." I say instead, pushing away the little voice in my head. I can feel both Logan and June's eyes on me, as they watch this scene my mum's created. Honestly, they should be used to it by now.

"You'd better. Because you have no chance of getting into Oxford if you don't do any work for the next month." I almost let out a cheer. Well, I do in my head. Don't get me wrong, Oxford is a great school. But I don't want to go to England. I want to go to Trinity College in Dublin. I've never visited the South of Ireland before, but I want to. I want to visit so many places. So why would I bother going to England, which I've seen a thousand times?