Chapter 213

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**HARRYS POV**
„Don't do this, Harry..." She almost whispered.

„Do what?"

„Looking at me all concerned. I know I look awful." She looked down, fidgeting with her hands.

„No, you don't look awful, Y/n." I shook my head, attempting to take her hand, but she pulled away before I noticed some tears running over her cheeks again and I regretted ever looking at her that way.

„I do...I look awful." Her voice trembled.

„Y/n, no...I'm sorry, I didn't mean it that way. I haven't seen you in a while, I just got worried." I told her, but she didn't say anything. I scooted closer to her, sitting right next to her. „Hey...baby, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you." I rubbed her back.

„It's okay..." She whispered and leaned against shoulder. „I know I look different from last time we saw each other. I thought it wasn't as noticeable. Is it really that bad?" She sat back up straight and looked at me.

„No, sweetie. It's just..." I sighed, tucking her hair behind her ear. „Right now you're sick and that's what makes you look a bit skinnier, but once you get better, you'll get back to your healthy self. To me, you're always the most beautiful woman to exist. I love you...so much." I kissed her cheek.

„I love you too."

„I'm sorry, I didn't wanna make you feel bad about it." I rubbed her back again.

„It's alright, H." She wiped her tears away. „You look a bit skinny yourself. Your hair has gotten longer." She smiled a little, running her hand through my hair. „You look tired."

„It was a long drive back." I told her, returning the smile.

„Go get some sleep then if you're too tired."

„No, I'm fine. I wanna spend some time with you first." I told her.

She nodded, smiling a little more. „You finished filming...and I'm so proud of you. You did it, H. Your first movie. I can't wait to see it."

„Thank you, love. I can't wait either. I'm really proud of it."

„As you should be." She ran her hand down my arm until she reached my hand and slid hers in mine. „And your album will be out in a few days too, you're unstoppable."

„Yeah, I'm really excited." I nodded. „And you know what? You'll be there for my very first solo show, because I'll do a one night only show on the day of its release. Tickets will be on sale tomorrow."

„Oh my god Harry now way!" She fell straight into my arms and hugged me tight. „Words can't explain how happy for you and proud of you I am right now." She said as she squeezed me tightly. „I'll actually be at the show and see you perform. That's just...that's everything to me." Her voice cracked at the last words.

„That's when you feel strong enough of course. You don't have to force yourself to be there if you don't feel good." I told her.

„Are you kidding me? I wouldn't miss it for the world, Harry."

„That means the world to me." I kissed her lips. „Listen, while I was away...were you doing okay?"

She nodded. „As okay as I can be without you waking up next to me everyday." She said. „I was okay, H, don't worry. Chemo has been tougher than usually lately though."

„Were you able to eat a little more?"

„Not really, no." She sighed, looking away. „That explains the weight loss."

„Have you eaten dinner earlier?" I wondered. „The truth please."

„Yeah, a little." She nodded.

„It's important that you eat, love. Especially after the transplant."

„I know...I'm trying, really." She looked at me again. „I'm just nauseous a lot of the time that makes me not wanting to eat."

„Okay, I understand. At least you're trying."

„I really am."

„I know...I know you're doing your best and I'm proud of you for that." I kissed her cheek.

She nodded, looking away again. „Harry?"

„Yes, lovie?"

„I want you to be honest with me now...please be honest when I ask you this...no sugarcoating whatsoever...please." She said.

„I'll be honest, I promise." I nodded.

She looked back up into my eyes. „Will I be okay again? Is this all gonna be okay?"

I took a deep breath, my heart hurting that I had to answer this. „Y/n I-."

„Be honest, Harry. Please."

„I don't know, my love. I know that the cancer is very aggressive and I can see that it's destroying your body and so does the chemo, but I also know that you have a chance. It's not impossible to survive...I-." I sighed, trying to pull myself together so I wouldn't cry. „I don't even wanna think of the possibility of...losing you, Y/n." My eyes watered and my voice cracked, so I looked away for a second. „You are everything to me and that's why I always tell you to keep fighting, because you do have a chance to beat this. I don't want you to give up, so please don't."

„I won't give up, I promise." She wrapped her arms around me. „Don't cry, H...it hurts me to see you sad." She rubbed my back up and down. „I just for once wanted to know the truth of what's happening. I mean I knew it, but I wanted to hear it from you too...I won't leave you, Harry. We'll grow old together and have a wonderful life. I'll make sure of that."

I nodded, tears running down my cheeks and held her so close to me that no one could ever take her away from me. Not even cancer. „You've got a chance, Y/n....There's a chance, so don't let your guard down." I told her. „You're not gonna die...not anytime soon. Not until we're both old and lived our lives, but I'll still die first. Do you hear me? I die first." I whispered. „I die first...that's what's gonna happen."

„I don't wanna leave you, H and I don't wanna die. I try to stay positive, but I do have days like today where I just...wanna give up." She admitted.

„That's okay, sweetie. That's fine. You're allowed to feel that way, of course you are. You just have to find the strength to fight again and then continue."

She nodded against my chest. „I love you so much, Harry. I can't even put into words how I feel for you."

„I love you too, angel. You're everything to me, absolutely everything." I held her even tighter to my chest and kissed the top of her head.

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