Calamitous

The Scorpion's Love Story

•────⋅☾ November ☽⋅────•

To say this was like any other time would be a deception. I've told myself I'd speak only of truth in my life and spirit. And so to start, from a child I've had an immense amount of love

Love that sprung from deep within
A match to my heart, it ignited in my welcoming into this world, that I cannot deny
An intense element with no home
No one could've anticipated that destruction

From that seed of a child's love grew into a young woman's ambition

How many years went by of sitting at Friday night's shadowy window sill, waiting and hoping for a first love's beginning? How many rises of the sun did I watch alone, pondering on the imagination's image of someone sitting beside me? How many moons have heard all my mind's tales and wishes? And to feel selfish asking God "Could I know even a bit more?" And how I hated this particular thought, the waves that struck after it's crossed my head hurts more than sharpened blades.

In a room full of many people and stories, would you turn to look for me and mine?

How selfish can I be to want to be loved and to love? Choosing my words is the hardest game of it all for a young soul and heart. I could never say such fathoming words, the world will turn away from it and I will go unheard.

But it is just the way I feel

Passing over into a sunday's morning before God, I trip over mountains of guilt. Is it wrong to ask for more? Dragging my eyes over in the haze of people, the eyes find one.

Lord, Is it wrong to want more?
My heart reminds me that I am human

Could I love again?...

And losing focus on my reality, I fixate on him. My mind is of many worlds where time does not exist, and in that space of time I built many questions of him and "What if?" I watched as his eyes moved over it all, waiting for them to find just one.

Let your imagination run miles on and on . . .

His eyes had met mine. They didn't pass or waiver, they stayed for a while as did he. I watched as our minds turned in unison. "What could be your story?"
His said "How much I wish I could read you" and billions more
Mine only said one thing ... "How long I've waited for you"
In a space where time didn't exist, I felt my heart soar, and how I hoped he'd want more. More to stand over all and walk through to me. And we would fit like'd we'd been missing from each other our whole lives

I'd give anything to live in the world of my imagination. Lying had always been my shield of defense since my childhood, this reality sunk into me deeper. I watched as his eyes landed on someone else and stayed there for a while. I watched him as he watched her, and laughed. Laughter filled the fading space's silence.

In came the dark tide of tears from the heart. Crashing onto the shore of my spirit, I felt another wave of my ambition be dragged in.
I promised to only speak and live in the truth. How untrue of a world I've created in my selfish mind.

A young woman's love with no home. Where to put it?

In the far far distance, through the haze and almost passed the fog, you can find me walking. I walk aimlessly with only one thing spinning around in my mind. I breathe in slowly, my dry aching eyes fluttering shut, walking on to nowhere.

Where do I put this love of mine?

-O.