by your side | j.g. x j.w.

2

Feelings between the two were purely platonic. Tara was the love of Jake's life, his whole world, he couldn't imagine a life without her as his girlfriend. With her, he was whole.

Johnnie did sometimes catch his mind wandering, running off to a world where he and Jake had something more. However, he blamed this on the lack of any true romance in his life.
When he really sat and thought about it, he knew he had no true feelings for Jake.

Until the night of Tara's birthday party, when an intoxicated mistake made all of that change.

—————

"Dude, what if we kissed for JC's stream?" A drunken Jake suggests to Johnnie.
This was nothing new, it was no big deal. Hell, Johnnie had kissed more guys than girls in his lifetime.
"Fuck it, why not," he giggles in response.
Jake walks away for a moment to get JC to film them, exclaiming, "Yo, do you wanna see something gay?"

The moment JC is recording them, Jake puts his hand on Johnnie's shoulder, then cups his face. Jake's hands rest gently on both sides of his neck as he pulls him into him. For a moment, their lips meet. It's over just as quickly as it began. The two laugh it off, and it becomes a short running joke.

Nothing more than that.

To their fans it was funny, to Jake it was funny, to their friends it was funny. It was funny to Johnnie too, just in a more pathetic way.

For the next few days after that, it wouldn't leave his mind. He's kissed nearly all of his male friends before, so why was this any different?
He often found his mind wandering to the night of the kiss, trying to wrap his head around why this specific incident was so different to him.

Maybe it was the way Jake's hands felt so soft on his face, or the way it was a little more than a peck. Or maybe it was something a little more subtle, like the way he smiled so big after it he could feel it all throughout his body.

He spent so much time obsessing over it that he hardly registered what Jake, who was currently sat next to him on the couch, was saying to him.

"So we broke up," Jake says, snapping him back to reality.

"Wait, wait, can you run all of that back? I zoned out, I'm sorry," Johnnie responds. Jake's words came as a genuine surprise to him.

"Tara and I had a talk, and we decided it was best for us to call it quits," Jake states blankly. "But why? You two were like perfect!" Johnnie asks.

Jake only shrugs, "I guess what it really comes down to is that we're getting older. Moving on with our lives, y'know? We didn't want to hold each other back," he says.

"Are you okay, though?" Johnnie asks. "It was mutual. We're staying friends, it isn't that big of a deal," Jake responds.
"I mean, it's going to be weird. Tara carried the whole relationship, but I think I'll manage."
He lets out a sad laugh.
It breaks Johnnie's heart.

He knows what it's like having to cope with a long term relationship coming to an end. It makes you feel lost, bouncing from person to person in hopes of finding your old partner in someone else.

But he knows that Jake is different, he would never lose himself over a relationship ending.

"I'm sorry," is all he can offer. Jake smiles, "hey, don't worry about me, alright? Tara and I are still good friends. Things are going to be just fine."

Johnnie nods, before sinking into the arm of the couch and fiddling with his hands. He lets his mind wander back to their kiss, before Jake's voice pulls him out again.

"I've notice you're getting distant again, what's on your mind?" He asks.
"Nothing, it's nothing," Johnnie responds immediately, almost cutting Jake off.

"Are you sure?" Jake asks cautiously, not wanting to push too hard. "I'm sure," Johnnie confirms. "Well, let me know if something's really bothering you, okay? I miss my best friend when he gets all distant."
Johnnie sighs, "yeah, sure."
Jake lets out a quiet chuckle, knowing Johnnie's never been one for getting soft while sober.

Johnnie returns his attention to his hands, letting his mind wander again. This time, uninterrupted.
Jake's words repeat in his head. He misses him.

Jake directs his attention to the nonsense playing on the TV in front of him, letting it captivate him completely.

Before long, Jake's attention wanders from the TV to the empty feeling in his stomach.
Soft murmurs escape Johnnie's mouth due to his slightly unnatural sleeping position. Jake smiles slightly at this, before standing up from the couch. He slips a pillow underneath Johnnie's head, to save him from a world of neck pain.

Then, he heads to the kitchen to make himself a good sandwich, cutting it in half so he can share just in case Johnnie wakes up soon.

Off in the dream world, Johnnie sees Jake like a hazy memory. He's smiling, and saying words he can't quite decipher. All he can really tell is that he's happy. They're happy. He looks down to see their hands conjoined, Jake soothingly running his thumb across the top of Johnnie's hand.

And then, clear as day, Jake speaks.
"I love you"
With that, everything fades to black, and Johnnie begins to stir awake.

—————

another chapter done yippee!
johnnie MIGHT be in love with his bestie...
or is he 🤨🤨
kinda gay idk.

i haven't checked my school canvas for missing assignments in like a week and at this point, i think we should keep it that way.

okay im sleepy and have practice tomorrow byebye as always, thanks for reading :3