HOSPITAL

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I feel myself fading, in and then out. Like ink bleeding onto the paper lightly and lifeless.

I hear the beep of machines fill my ears and the smell of hospitals that associates with sickness and I frantically panic trying to remove the mask that's covering my mouth.

I lift my head up as best as I can looking frantically as I see Antonia rush in a hug my face, I'm emotionless, what's happening?

"It's okay, I'm right here." She states and I feel wetness on my shoulder. "tee, what's happened to me?" I ask with a croak and she gives me a sad smile.

"You've relapsed Darby." I feel myself choke before burying my head into the crook of her neck and I feel myself sob loudly. "why me? Why can't I just be fixed and normal?" I say out loud and she shakes her head biting down on her bottom lip.

"Listen to me, you'll get better, you'll be happy and you will make it through this." She says as I shake my head she puts a hand on my chin. "You will eat everyday, get a cute, fluffy, little dog and we can take it to get pup cups from Starbucks and you'll find love, you will be happy." She says and I nod slowly.

"This is just a setback okay." She says and I whisper it back to her.

"I miss Lily, she always knew what to do." Antonia frowns and I do to. "3 years ago today." I whisper.

"You have some visitors if that's okay maam." The nurse says walking in and I nod.

The doorway fills with my mum, mama cee and Jobe, who's obviously drove Antonia here.

"Oh my baby." My mother says as she runs to my side with a sob. "Mama I'll be okay, I'm okay." I say and she shakes her head quickly.

"Stop telling me you'll be okay. Your not okay! Darby you are not okay." She says and I feel guilty.

"I'm so sorry momma, I'm not good enough for you but I'm trying." I say and she shakes her head again. "You are perfect, your my Darby." She says and I smile sadly.

"Antonia rang me as soon as Jude dropped you off!" Catherine says and I hug her from my bed. "Jude brought me?" I ask as she nods and we make small talk, I can tell there trying to distract me.

"Please can I go home?" I sob and they all look at me before looking at the door where I see a familiar figure.

"hey darbs, it's me." He says resting his hand in mine, making sure I'm fully conscious.

"I'm really sorry, i didn't mean to be a burden." I say and she shakes his head. Why is everybody shaking there head so much?

"Listen your never a burden, your the best shop my mum ever found and I love spending time with you and Jobe and Antonia so don't ever think your a burden love."  He says and I smile with a tear and he wipes it giving me a hug.

"Mama I want to go home please." I say and she shakes her head. "I'm out of the country this week, it's not safe." She says and I sigh.

We've grown up poor, it's always been that way and every 2 years she goes on a business trip to advertise and it just so happens it's now.

I'm not gonna burden her or make her feel guilty, il just have to stay in hospital. "Stay at my place baby." Antonia says and I look up.

She's smiling like it's a great idea. "You'll be happy and we can have a shit ton of fun to get you healthy!" She says almost making a list in her head.

"Okay." My mum says as if I'm a child and I smile. "Thanks antoni macaroni." I giggle and she chuckles.

"Your very welcome Darby-warby." She laughs.

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