Struck

Unfair

Chapter one
(Cortes - Distance)
Alexa

“Well its decided you're  grounded, go to your room and I 'm taking your phone away. ”said Dad.  I handed over my phone and proceeded to go to my room.  I  wanted to bang the wall but i took a deep breathe  and locked my door. I switched off the lights and threw myself on the bed.  I cant believe they took my phone just cause I got an one B + in my final year report card .  Dad didn't necessarily  care but mom made it a huge deal.  I got A’s except for that one B+.  She threw a fit. Suddenly I felt tears in my eyes,  they touched my cheeks.  I wiped them off.  There was a knock at my door.  I kept quiet.  The knocking continue for a few seconds. I  ignored it still.  When it stopped finally i fell asleep.  The next day I woke up and went to bathe .  I stared at myself in the mirror.  My brown eyes, my caramel  skin glowing and my shoulder length black hair sliding  across my skin. I  had a heavy head,  i couldn't oversleep otherwise, I'd be called lazy and useless. I  went downstairs  for breakfast.  Mom looked at me as I was going down the stairs. “Is this the time to wake up ? ” she asked.  It was only 8 am.  “No. I'm sorry mother.  ” i muttered staring at the floor.  “Your sorry wont do anything , now go make breakfast.  ” she said.  I  went to the kitchen.  The food had been already prepared by my sister  Elena.  “Oh, good morning. How are you today ? ” she said flashing a smile at me.  “Good,  I see you've made breakfast.  Should I help you serve it ? ” i asked.  She shook her head.  I watched her carry food into the dining  table.  She layed out the plates and forks.  She even lead us through prayer.  She seemed very happy today.  Mother was praising her and saying “she is a woman.  She's an example  to some of us. ” I knew who she was talking about . I ignored her.
I battled trying to eat every crumb of my food.  I couldn't  digest it. I stared at it and just moved my fork.  I cut my egg into  small peices while lost in thought.  “Earth to Alexa.  ” nudged Elena.  “Alexa,  why are you playing around with your food ?  Be grateful your sister even made you food. Sometimes I  wish you were like her not a failure like your father. ”said Mom. I didn't say anything .  There was just an awkward  silence whenever she talked about my dad.  I was the odd one out because of my surname.  My stepbro Adi ( whos in college ) , my baby stepbro Marcus (in preschool) and my stepsister Elena ( in high school).  They were all  Jones and I was a Scarlot. I looked at my mom and nodded.  “Mr Jones,  may I please be excused for the table ? ” I asked.  He nodded.  “Alexa, sit back down.  I am your mother.  You better listen to me.”she said.  “You can't be the mother of such a failure, Mrs Jones. I'm a Scarlot, a failure.  ” i said emphasizing the failure part. I got up and went to my room.  I didn't have the energy to fight with her. I had known she'd loved my step siblings more than me. They weren't even her kids except for Marcus. They brought pride to her unlike me.  I'm a failure just like my father.  She considered him that because he couldn't provide for her when times were tough so he divorced her and then later commited suicide.
I never got to read the letter he wrote for me,  i was too scared it would open up wounds. Wounds that I didn't need right now but Mrs Jones already opened that can of worms. No use crying over spilt milk. The next few hours I sat on my bed feeling absolutely nothing. I felt like I was floating in my own body.  My head was pounding. I just felt numb.  I didn't want to cry but the tears automatically came out.  I just let them,  i was silent.  I made no sound.  I  didn't need her to hear me.  I didn't need anything right now. I got up and  slowly reached for my pencilcase.  I slowly took out scissors.  I stared at it for a few seconds maybe this was really the best option at this point. Maybe I could finally float with dad. I  threw it across the room and popped some mint gum in my mouth. I wrapped myself around my dad’s favorite blanket. I  didn't eat the whole day, I just had water and gum.  I went downstairs to get some painkillers at around 7pm.  The whole family was having dinner with the Hawksley's (our neighbors).  I went to 
the  medicine cabinet and grabbed two painkillers,  I resisted the temptation to take more.  I walked past the dinner table and completely ignored the laughs and giggles. Just then I became eight all over again,  leaving the dinner table while everyone was smiling and laughing because I was “Tired”.  I walked back to my room. I  took the painkillers.  Just then my door was opened. No one was there. I got up and  looked around.  I couldn't feel anything.  “Failure. Worthless.  She doesn't love you. It was your fault.  ” whispered a voice.  “No it wasn't. ” I said.  “What makes you think that ?  It was your fault.  Admit it.  He's gone because of you.  ” it replied.  “No,no. It wasn't.  You're lying. You're tricking me.  ” i cried.  “Don't lie to yourself.  Admit it.”  it said.  “No.  No.  No! It wasn't.  Go away! ” i cried.  “You’re the whole reason he's gone admit it. ”it said.  I sat on my bed having argument within  myself. A knock disturbed my thoughts.  I ignored it at first.  “Alexa, can i come in ? ” said Adi. I just stared at the door.  “I heard what happened.
Can I come in ? I mean no harm.  I just wanna talk. ”he said.  I lazingly got up and opened the door.  “ I'm fine Adi.  I'll cry it off,  besides I'll be fine by tomorrow.  ” i said.  “I know but..... ”
“But what ?  I just wanna be alone. Please respect that.  ” I interrupted.
“Ohk, also He says he wants to talk to  you after church tomorrow and hopes you're okay. ” said Adi. I knew the “He ” that Adi was talking about.  “Ohk, good night.  ” i said slowing closing the door.  “I should tell him good night ? ” he asked.  “Sure Adi, I have headache.  Good night.  ” i said closing the door.  I  wasnt in the mood for this.