Bump

7: A BUMPY START

In which the state of the roads is examined and found wanting.

#

Bump!

Rupert's head rebounded off the side of the cart. Again. He grimaced, though it was hardly noticeable through the snarl he was wearing. He was snarling not because he was angry-though he was, very-but because his teeth felt like they were being rattled about inside his head each time the cart rode over an uneven bit of road. With his canines, that was not pleasant. He was forced to keep his upper lip curled to stop his teeth cutting his lower lip. It had taken more than a few nicks to figure this out, and that had not improved his mood.

Juggalug, on the other hand, was nestled contentedly in the hollow between Rupert's neck and shoulder, fast asleep. This would have been a relief, if not for the whistling snores he was breathing directly into Rupert's ear. Rupert only hoped that the banshee did not have a nightmare. If Jugglalug screeched at him from this proximity he'd never hear again.

Rupert turned his snarl to Harriet, who was sitting opposite him, their bent knees squeezed tight against each other.

"Why are you making that face?" Harriet asked. She sounded amused.

Rupert, however, was not. "Ay teelph are hurrin ee."

"Pardon?"

"Ay-teelph-are-hurrin-ee!"

"What?"

"Ay teelph!"

"Oh, your teeth!" Harriet gave Rupert a sympathetic look, which annoyed him. "Yes, I guess that would be uncomfortable. I'm-"

She was interrupted as the cart raced over an especially deep rut, shaking them like dice in a cup. Bump! went Rupert's head. He abandoned the defence of his gums in favour of a curse.

"Imp's breath! Where does this farmer need to get to so fast?"

Harriet lifted the edge of the tarpaulin that covered the cart's load; they shared the space with barrels of oats and apples. "Actually, we're not going very fast. It just feels like we are because it's so cramp-"

Bump!

Juggalug gave a wheedling snort in Rupert's ear. He eyed the banshee warily, but Juggalug's snores resumed a moment later.

Harriet rubbed her head ruefully. "It isn't like this in the books."

Rupert glared. "What books might those be?"

"Just... the books I read." She coloured.

"In these books, do beautiful maidens happen to be kidnapped by romantic-looking vampires and taken to romantic-looking castles before embarking on romantic quests filled with mystery and intrigue and... romance?"

Harriet tried for nonchalance. "It's knights, actually."

Ah, knights, thought Rupert sullenly. So that's where the 'damsel' thing came from. "But I'm right about the rest of it, aren't I?"

Harriet turned pinker. "Father didn't like me reading them," she admitted. "But I like them. They're exciting."

"Exciting," Rupert repeated.

"They always steal away in the backs of carts in books," Harriet said, eager to turn the subject away from romance. "But it never says anything about it being so-"

Bump!

Rupert hissed in pain.

"-bumpy," finished Harriet.