From College Student to Single Parent

The Beginning

I still remember it like it was yesterday; meeting him was no accident at all. At least, that is what I tell myself every night. Believe what you want; that I, a 21-year-old girl, was irresponsible, careless, and naive. I don't believe it; I did what any person would do but went above and beyond. She just doesn't like to hear it that I was a better mother than she ever was.

I was out of class; my sunglasses were on, for that it was actually sunny in this God forsaken city called San Francisco. I still wore my skinny jeans, a loose fitting tee and my hair in a messy bun. I had my things in my backpack, taking a sip of my Starbucks: people watching. I didn't know what it was, but this city made me sick to my stomach.

Watching the people come and go, the homeless begging to make sure they could survive another night, or the fact that everyone just seemed so fake. I placed down my drink, going back into my drawing: quickly sketching the tourist. I was in my third year at an art school in order to get my degree in illustration. I had this wild dream on becoming a comic book artist, that was until I came to this school and saw that everyone was way better than I would ever be. 

It blew my self-confidence as an illustrator. I felt that I had nothing more in life to fulfill. Doing the American dream right? Go to college, graduate, get a job and make babies. I felt though that everyone back home was laughing at me though. They never took art school seriously, because it wasn't a real job: that I will soon become a starving artist. It gets tiring to the point where you can't take it anymore.

Was I unstable? You could say that. There have been nights where I wanted to end my life, where I wanted to leave this world. As you can see, I didn't. I have tried but my roommates found me and my dorm lives right across the street from a hospital. Should have planned better. Was it best for someone like me to have that kind of responsibility? No. 

I just remember looking across from where I was sitting, just seeing him. He was wearing a beanie with a ball on top, with a backpack, a light jacket and his big brown eyes looking frighten. No one noticed him because, well it's a sleepless city: no one cared about anyone but their self. He was just standing there, couldn't be more than three, holding on to a slip of paper.

I did what any person would do: ignored him. It was until I heard a honking and screaming, I had snapped my head back up to see him trying to cross the street.

"Hey, kid," I yelled softly, but it wasn't loud enough for him. I quickly scooted back my seat and ran towards him. I didn't look for cars, I didn't care if I got hit: remember, suicidal. I grabbed the kid and quickly went back to the corner I was at. I placed him down, while I was trying to catch my breath. Soon I saw that piece of paper being rubbed into my face. I looked into the eyes of the child, cocking my eyebrow.

"What, no thank you?" I joked, grabbing the paper. I walked him over to where I was sitting, to only notice something: my sketchbook was missing. "You gotta be shitting me!" I yelled. I sat down, arms hung behind the chair, my head tilted back, "Today is not my fucking day." I soon went back to relax on the table, elbows pressed down while unfolding the note.

Dearest, 

I am sorry that I had to abandon you, for things are not good with mommy and daddy. I am sure someone out there will take care of you or you will be smart enough to go to the police. I feel so terrible for doing this to you. Just remember, I love you.

Mommy

"Seriously? You just leave a kid here in the open?" I huffed out, looking down to the brown-eyed boy; he was playing with my pencil case. "Do you have a name?" I asked him, placing the paper down; he just looked up at me, saying nothing.

I pressed my lips together and started to gather my things, "Ok...Don't say anything then." I let out but at the end of that sentence I cracked a smile. 

I went back into the Starbucks to get chocolate milk for the kid, where he just stood by my side. I handed him the milk while we took a walk to the fire station. The mother should have least done that, since they have to take unwanted children. Going to the station was a pain: one, I'm lazy, this is the city of hills and I just hated it. Two, he wouldn't stop trying to grab my hand. At one point, I had to stop and look at him, "No, no touching." We make it to the fire station. I bent down to him, straightening his jacket. He looked so cute and I must say, we kind of looked a like. He was sipping onto the milk and I placed my hand on his cheek.

I let out a smile to him, "Look, I am leaving you here but these men will take care of you. So, don't worry." I got back up and started to walk away, or at least I wanted to. He let out this pterodactyl screech, I quickly turned in horror. He just wouldn't shut up. He dropped the milk but that wasn't it, no kid would make this horrific scream just for that. Was it the sense of abandonment? 

"What is that noise?" I heard men inside complain. That's good, they are coming out. Why can't I just leave him then? I ran over to him, picking him up and just booking it down the street, heading back to my dorm. While running back, he hugged my neck and calmed down. I got back to my place, not letting him go and entering. I headed up to the third floor to enter into my room, only to see my roommate Yu and our friend Alexander. They were on the floor doing homework, while I tried to quickly turn around and leave the room.

"Selma? Is that you?" I heard Yu's voice coming through the door, shit. I couldn't leave but I was stuck. I re-entered my room and saw them both looking at me. I went over to my bunk bed, for we had two. I lived in a room for four people but since one of our roommates didn't show, it was three of us. My bunk had the extra bed, my mother kept nagging me to do something with it so I made the top bunk my hang out area: my books on the closet, my pillows on top along with my stuff animals that I was given.

I tried to get this kid off me but he kept latching on to me, "Look, kiddo, I am not going anywhere. Just, just get off of me!" I was getting frustrated and soon he let go and I placed him on my bottom bunk, where I slept. Soon, he closed his eyes to take a nap. I saw Alex and Yu looking at me; I went over and collapsed on Yu.

"Get off of me, Selma!" She managed to roll me off of her while I pretended to be dead. Yu poked my stomach causing me to jerk up, as I sat back up, resting on my elbows. "Who is the kid?" She asked me.

I shrugged to her, "No clue."

"Selma, you have to at least know who that is." Alex tried to get out of me. I shook my head.

"Nope," Popping the 'p' at the end, "Just met him today."

Yu got up in order to push me down, for she was only 4'11", "What the hell, Selma? You can get arrested!"

I stood up to look down at her, "Actually, he had a note but it has no name, no address or who abandoned him. I don't even know the kid's name!" I chuckled, even though it was no laughing matter. I saw him wake up and walking over to me, hugging my legs.

I patted his head, "Sorry if I woke you, kiddo." 

I looked at Alex, who just gave me a confused look, "What are you going to do then?"

I bent down and look at the child. I brushed the hair out of his face and smiled, "I'll just have to take care of him. That is until something comes up." I looked at Yu, who was biting her lip. "I'll go to the police tomorrow and see if there's any missing reports on him, okay?" I smiled at her; she just nodded back at me.

I looked back at the kid, "Look, I will give you a temporary name." He looked at me and nodded, at least he understood. I was trying to think of names, for my sister was about to have a kid and it made me think about them recently, "How's Aiden?" He smiled at me, which caused me to smile back at him. 

I stood back up with my hands out towards Alex and Yu, "It's settled then, Aiden will just have to stay here."