Bruises (BWWM)

15

15

Ben

I guess she wanted me to see what she felt like when I ignored her. Lesson learned.

But I also guess she didn't realize how competitive I actually was. She wouldn't get away with this, leaving me waiting like that for a moment that never came to life. If she thought she could be sneaky, she hadn't met me. And although I had promised myself to be good, I still wanted to get my revenge on cute little Tammy.

You couldn't cross a guy like me without regretting it afterwards.

But I guess Tamra was the sole exception to that rule, because as much as I wanted to hurt her back, I couldn't bring myself to. Just like it seemed I couldn't stop myself from coming back to that crappy apartment rented with my dead grandmother's money. Although I had convinced myself that I was only here to pick up a few stuff, I couldn't deny the incredible warmth I felt inside a place this cold. A place I had created to shield myself from the rest of the world and to encapture my pain. It felt weird coming back.

I still found myself reclining onto the small wooden stool I had installed in the living room area, the only family picture I had of the four of us Sutters now in my hands. As my fingers glided onto the crumbled surface of the photograph and contoured my sister's features, I tried to remember my favorite moment spent with her. But there were so many to choose from.

The time where she accidentally threw our washing machine on fire the first time she tried to do the laundry by herself, the times we used to climb into our treehouse and talk about anything until mom would call us and we'd have to go down, or even the day we decided to dress as the other to freak everyone out at school. I couldn't pick one.

But the thing I liked the most about Elle was her smile. It didn't look anything like mine. Hers was radiant, alive, full of light. Even at my happiest, she was happier.

I contemplated the picture, now staring into my dad's joyful eyes. Looking into them, you just couldn't tell he'd just leave my mother and I without a warning. He was the fun dad. The pillar of the family. It only took one feeble push from my part for him to crumble down, taking with him his marriage and family in his fall.

It was all my fault.

Mom said it wasn't. She said that the universe always had a way of executing its doing and that my father's departure was surely part of something way bigger than what our souls could only ever slightly understand. I chose to believe her.

I still wondered where he was now. Last time I heard from him he was in Kansas City, but that was over two years ago. Mom said he'd never settle down. That he'd be wandering the pain of losing his daughter away, senselessly travelling from coast to coast to country to continent for the rest of his life. He'd never stop until he'd find peace.

In a way, I kind of related to him because of that. He needed to go away, and I, I needed to feel pain. We were more...

"No! I won't do it!" had screamed a feminine voice from outside, "Leave me alone!"

I kinda recognized it. But from where? I jumped from my seat and gaped down at the window to notice a slim lady being held back by a large imposing -and probably drunk- man. She gave kicks in the air, trying to liberate herself from his hold, but he didn't let go.

The situation felt all too familiar, but I had to do whatever was in my power to help her.

I quickly ran past the entrance of my apartment and, staring at the broken elevator -as per usual- I sprinted down the flight of stairs that led outside that seemed to never end.