Poetry of the soul

4 AM

TW: This poem speaks of the battles and struggles of depression and suicide. Events and actions take take place within this poem is purely fictional.

Save me from my thoughts,
I think inside my head.
My darkest fear manifest as I lay in bed.
Save me from the truth,
Save me from myself.
I'll never say it but I need some help.
I am my own worst enemy.
Bring myself down,
make myself bleed.
Cause during the day,
the world seems small.
But with my demons at 4 am....not at all

When i'm stressed out it intensifies.
My deepest emotions, amplified.
I feel it taking over, I'm petrified.
I heard they say some don't make it out alive.

Yet everyone tells me "it's just a phase"
"it's just a mood" , "you'll be okay."
But I don't feel like I am fine
I feel already dead on the inside

Every day I fought for my life.
Convincing myself I could still have a better life.
When my thoughts creep in at night
I'm not sure I can win this fight.

At 4 am my demons come out to play
My thoughts lose hope of seeing better days.
They'll say "I'm here" and
"you'll never have to do this alone"
But at 4am, in my home...
I was all alone.

I had a life and I threw it away.
The pain was too great, and grew by the day.
I would just smile and just say "I'm okay".
All of these words, I had nothing to say.
And now I can't say anything at all.
Tired of fighting, I decided to fall
To my loved ones I've left behind,
I'm sorry
we ran out of time.