Seize The Day

Chapter Twenty Three

Bill felt as though he was emerging from anaesthetic, his head was foggy and his eyes heavy. His whole body ached, evidence that he’d been so soundly asleep. As he started to feel, come to life, he became of the warm arms wrapped around him, the head heavy on his shoulder, and that wonderful smell. Opening one eye he glanced down and smiled, he was definitely home, and Sophie was definitely in his arms. For a quick moment he’d feared he’d woken up in yet another hotel, alone.  Stretching he turned his body so that he was on his side watching her.

A quick glance at his alarm clock told him it was after ten. Those black out blinds he’d bought last year were worth every penny, it was dark and he was tempted to fall back asleep. But there was the double edged sword of jetlag, and the hot woman who even as she slept wriggled against him, waking up every inch of his body.

It was heaven, and he could quite happily lie there like that, on the brink of extreme torture forever! He had a moment to contemplate life, so much had happened. Three months ago he’d been a normal guy, working in a bank, loving life, so unaware what impact realising his dream and finding love as he had, could have on him. He had nothing in common with the man who’d refused to commit to anything, anyone, and he couldn’t work out when the change had come around.  But he knew that he was happier than he’d ever been.

                “So are you going to stare at me all day?” Sophie asked, her eyes were yet to open. He chuckled, a deep sound and she slowly lifted her lashes to look at him, “you have a very sexy laugh!”

That made him blush, Bill Swift actually blushed, turning on her side she faced him with a smile on her face.

                “I can’t tell you how happy I was when you turned up last night. Shocked! But shocked and happy!”

He grinned, “I couldn’t have stayed away...I’m sorry Sophie, I really, really am! For all of it.”

There was an earnest and honesty about his expression and in that moment Sophie knew they could sort this out. But they did have to talk, and it was her turn to apologise now, they’d both been stupid.

                “I should’ve told you that I loved you back when in Manchester, but I was scared. I’ve never let my defences down like that...” She sat up, turning to look at him, “I’ve had a long time to think about it, and...no one’s ever loved me Bill, not till you. My parents are worse than useless, and me and Nick never saw eye-to-eye. I didn’t believe you could love me, and I doubted that I knew how to love you back.”

Bill took her hands, “and you were right. I should have trusted you. But I don’t think I’ve ever trusted anyone before, not other than you and Vin, as soon as my feelings for you changed...I didn’t know how to manage that. If it’s any consolation it was so hard being away from you, and I knew you needed my support for this and I was stranded, stuck on the other side of the world. Then I phoned and that man...” he hung his head.

Sophie sighed, “the only reason I went out with him before you went away was because he was pestering me. He was only interested because he thought I was with you. Then I got it into my head to draw him in and make him want me, I thought putting him down would be cathartic. You know all those years of living in the shadow of how humiliated he made me feel. But all it did was push you further away. Oh Bill. We’ve both been so stupid!”

Sighing, he pulled her close, “you’re right, if I’d been more honest BEFORE I left the country then we’d never have got into this mess, would we?” She shook her head and he smiled, “when I had that email, God, I felt like such a fool. We had such a busy day ahead, Johnny Peters was injured I was the leading man for GB, and it was all so fraught. And my head was in the shed. You were right to be angry; I SHOULD have called you back, and should have trusted you. Manchester...” they were smiling at each other in an inane fashion at the memory that word created. “It was amazing being with you Sophie, and I don’t think that comes around twice in your life...there’s no way you’d have dived into something with him. Not after that, and not after all those emails.”