"Don't get my hopes up..."

I'm not okay dude (Stan POV)

(IDK WHO MADE THE DRAWING 😭)

I've been thinking quite a lot since a couple of days ago. These emotions of wanting to be alone have been growing, I love being alone but I hate feeling lonely, I'm not sure if that makes sense tho...

Kyle has been worried about me, I like that he cares. I just wish my parents just hurry up and divorce, then I could live with my mom rather than my alcoholic dad who likes to sell weed for a living, did I mention he's a terrible influence? I want to be there for Wendy, at least I think I want to. I feel terrible for ignoring her, but I can't pretend any longer. I don't like her anymore, she's a great girl believe me we just don't click. I cried last time about it and drank because of the previous breakups with her, but that's when I thought she was all I had...

-

I enter the roaring lunchroom and I see Kyle, I smile softly. I sit next to him and I start eating the cafeteria food. I'm even sure if it's real meat at this point.

"Hey, Kyle..." I say a bit too quietly

"Hey dude" I hear Kyle sigh before continuing,
"I want you to know, I'm here for you. Okay? If you don't want to talk about it, I understand. But I don't want you to pent up your feelings"
he says while placing his hand on the table.

I think for a moment, I take a deep breath and look around. No one is listening to our conversation, I face Kyle again and fidget with my fingers
"Thanks, Kyle, that means a lot to me. Not everything has been going well, my parents always fight at night for some reason and I get no sleep, the house smells like alcohol and weed. Also...I don't think I like Wendy anymore, I mean she's great don't get me wrong, but I just don't have feelings for her anymore. I know I might seem pretty overly sensitive about this but, it's just confusing and exhausting...y'know?" I say the last part looking up at Kyle with hopeful eyes that he will say something that might help.

I see Kyle smiling softly at me, his smile is so sweet. The way he looks at me...why is my heart racing, god what the hell is wrong with me. I shouldn't be thinking this way, he's my best friend only, I'm not gay, I'm...not gay

"I'm glad you told me" Kyle's hand holds mine, I feel my face start to heat up, and I smile
"If you want you can just sleepover at my house if your parents argue that much, we live like right next door anyway. And for Wendy...I can help you text her or it might be best to do it in person, but your choice of course" Kyle is so considerate of my emotions, I didn't even notice I was staring into his eyes

"Uh...Stan?" I hear Kyle say my name and I snap back into reality, I nod and chuckle shyly
"Sorry, yeah that sounds great. Thanks, dude...I couldn't ask for a better sbf" I hug Kyle with a warm smile.

"It's no problem, Stan..." Kyle says tenderly.

His warmth as we hug is so relaxing, a couple seconds later we break the hug. It's like I forgot about everything else and I'm indulging in this moment...I sigh cheerily, we continue to hold hands underneath the table and start eating the mystery meat the lunch ladies served us.

-

RING RING

Already? Damn that was quick, I check my phone and see 5 messages from Wendy. I open them to take a quick look

Kyle waves bye before walking away to his gym class and I wave bye back.

Wendy- "Stan we need to talk" sent 12:35

Wendy- "like now" sent 12:35

Wendy- "can you please answer for once?"
sent 12:40

Wendy- "you're really pissing me off" sent 12:43

Wendy- "once you stop ignoring me, meet me beside Mrs. Choksondik's (she's a high-school teacher now and alive) room" sent 12:44

I sigh...might as-well just get this over with. I just put a "👍🏼" as a reply. I start walking towards the location Wendy wanted me to meet her at.

-728 words