Chapter 18: Leon

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I knew it was the wrong thing to say before it even left my lips.

I keep my gun aimed ahead as we move forward, away from that room in the castle. I run through the events of the past few hours, maintaining a mask of cool calm as I survey our surroundings when my mind is anything but steady.

No more distractions. It was such a cruel thing to say, to insinuate that the way she makes me feel is...bothersome. A disturbance.

Part of it is true; her presence is a distraction—but it's a welcomed one. A distraction that keeps my mind occupied instead of lingering on our warped, twisted reality. She's like a good book that transports my mind to a better world when real life turns sour.

If I were to be honest, she's like a ray of sunlight in the endless darkness. A light that keeps me moving forward. Our pain speaks to each other somehow, both trauma born from the past and now, in this current predicament.

When I found her afraid and alone, I was a form of hope for her, I realize, even when I didn't have to be. Even when my job was only to get her home safe. I tore away her fear layer by layer with trust and support until she showed her true self: a brave, confident young woman skilled at hiding her pain. Now, she's keeping us focused, fighting for us, and...keeping me sane. It doesn't feel like a job anymore, this rescue mission; maybe it stopped feeling like one as soon as I met her, as soon as these feelings developed.

My thoughts are a loud, jumbled mess of anxious regret, and I'm to blame for this tension between us.

I risk a glance at her walking next to me, eyes glued to her shoes, brow furrowed in thought. It makes me feel even more shitty that she looks like this after sex with me, and I wonder if she's regretting it all.

If she's regretting trusting me or giving me her body, I wouldn't be able to stand it. I don't want to think about how alone I'd feel in this mission without her. We're exhausted, and this virus isn't making things any easier, but it would be so much worse if I did this alone. Still, I knew deep down I had to say it, had to make it clear that we couldn't be together, that our attraction was just that—something shallow and purely physical desire. It's always easier that way because no one can get hurt. I won't get attached.

But I knew when she came to save me, smiling down at me from that balcony, when she killed for me without thought—those feelings building in my chest since the moment I saw her burst to the surface, no longer able to be contained.

I had to show her physically how I truly felt because it would be too dangerous, too permanent to put into words. There was no way I was letting her remain unsatisfied any longer—not after all she'd done for me.

She needed a reward—and a punishment. Something that would satisfy her need for me, but make her never want to draw my attention again. It had the opposite effect because I didn't scare her into losing interest. The way I fuck is belligerent—not many women can handle that, I've come to find. But she did. I could tell she loved it by how much it disturbed her and how hard I made her come.

She took me like such a good girl, so obedient, so eager to please me. Her pussy melted around my cock, coating it in her fresh juices as we connected, over and over. I wanted to claim every inch of her perfect body, and in a way, I did. Knowing she's full of my cum right now sends tingles all down my body, and it makes me want to take her again. I picture the desire in her eyes when I entered her, the way her eyes rolled back into her skull. Her flushed cheeks, swollen lips, and the pure bliss in her eyes. The contentment in her gaze at losing control, surrendering to me, knowing she couldn't do a damn thing about it.

I gazed at her then, her perfect naked body splayed before me, and thought, mine, mine, mine.

The word stayed in my head the entire time I fucked her like my body knew this went beyond a physical joining, like we were writing something permanent on our skin, in the space we shared, something that would change things between us.

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