ROCKSTAR ⇒ jegulus

TWELVE

James' mother phones him that evening. James answers immediately, placing the phone on speaker and setting it down on his marble countertop, as he makes himself a much awaited, much needed, cup of tea.

"Hi, darling," Her warm voice rings through the phone. "I was hoping you'd have rang me by now, but you hadn't, so I decided to give you a ring, love," James can practically hear her smile, a worried smile, in her voice.

James freezes as he uses a spoon to fish out his tea bag. He feels something tighten in his throat. He doesn't answer.

Hearing his mother's voice, the woman who carries him, who birthed him, who went through hell and back to have him; makes him feel safe, and somewhat childlike once more. It is like being wrapped in a warm blanket in the harshests of winters, like he has fallen asleep on the couch and he is being carried up the stairs to his bed.

"Hello? Sweetheart? Are you there?"

James shakes his head, snapping himself back into reality. "M'here, mum, I...it's just so nice to hear your voice, I've had a gloomy kind of day," He admits.

"You're never too old to need your mummy, love," Euphemia's voice is soft and understanding. "Sirius rang me this morning. He told me about what happened on the internet. Oh, my love, I'm so sorry, honey," She says. "I know this isn't what you wanted, or how you wanted it to go,"

James sighs as he tosses his tea bag in the bin, discarding his tea spoon into the sink; it clinks softly. "I know," He whispers. "I'm sorry too," James utters softly, bringing his mug to his parted lips. He swallows a mouthful of tea before continuing. "I...I didn't want this to be how the world found out about the baby. I-" He pauses. "I know it sounds stupid and mushy, but I wanted it to be more special than this," He confesses quietly.

"Oh, James, honey," Euphemia utters softly. "You don't need a special announcement to make this all special. You just need to look around, look in the mirror, and realise that it's already so much more than special. You're having a baby, sweetie, it's so much more special than announcing it to the world,"

"I know," James murmurs. "I just...I wasn't ready, I wasn't quite ready yet,"

"And that's alright, love. It's okay to have wanted to keep it to yourself for a little while longer; but sometimes life doesn't work the way that we want it to,"

James nods. "Sometimes life has a very weird way of working itself out," James agrees, sipping at his tea.

"How has Regulus been taking all of this? Is he doing okay? I saw his name on that article, your father managed to get it up on that computer of his, honestly, James, why did you ever buy him that? It's confusing, he won't teach me how to use it," Euphemia tuts. James can tell that she is rolling her eyes.

James winches, and not due to his mother's computer comment. "Regulus is...well, he's Regulus, and I...I may have chewed him out this morning and he chewed right back," James hesitates.

"Oh, honey," Euphemia sighs. "You had a fight?"

"It was a long time coming, I guess. We've been tiptoeing around on eggshells for weeks now. It was bound to cause even more tension," James sighs. "We...we didn't do it right. The tension just built up and this morning it came to this massive boiling point, and...and I said something horrible about he and Sirius' upbringing and...and maybe I can't come back from it, mum," James bites his lip. "I...I just didn't believe him, even after he promised me that he hadn't written that article,"

Euphemia clears her throat. "You can't take anything back, baby. But you can apologise for it," She tells him. "Let Regulus know that you're sorry, honey, and that you didn't mean to hurt him, sometimes we...we hurt others while we're hurting, you know?" She pauses. "You don't owe the world your pregnancy, or your privacy, honey, but you do owe Regulus some of it; he's your baby's father,"