"I want how it was before. I want it all with you in my life again... I'm asking you to stay."
Miles Cobain-Smith
An aloof and detached logician, he scrutinizes the simplest things through microscopic lenses. Academic validation, family expectations...
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"You want to run away? You're not like that, Julie. Why are you doing this?" Russell inquires, his voice heavy with concern and worry. He feels bad as his eyes scan Juliet sitting in front of him. Her usual joyful face is clouded with misery and her appearance is in a state of disorder.
"I just want to save myself even if it means not being myself for once," she mumbles out, playing with her fingers.
"Save yourself from what?"
"From... getting hurt. Yesterday he was sitting by the lake with his sister when I went in. They were just talking and laughing. It was the simplest of things to be stared at by me for such a long time. And that was the moment it finally clicked in me and I found the courage to surrender to myself at least." Juliet takes a deep breath, struggling to look directly into his eyes. "Dad, I think," she pauses for a second, "I'm getting attached and... he's not. Before it ends up in greater regret than this, I'm backing away. I could try to be brave and challenge my own feelings but I know I'll lose. I'm not as strong as I appear to be."
He exhales deeply. Never has he ever thought about this possibility when he persuaded Juliet to meet Miles. It is just all too sudden. However, it's obvious how much she's been caught up in this dilemma by only looking in her eyes. A veil of distress in them that he's never witnessed before.
"Okay, I get it," he replies, breaking the silence, "Do you want me to tell him that you won't be going anymore or do you want to do that yourself?"
"I've decided to visit him this afternoon to let him know about it and..." Her voice wavers, "Well, to say goodbye."
Russell nods.
"Dad, I never thought something like this would happen. This is like an extra hassle." She lets out a half-hearted smile.
"We don't have control over these things. Now you have to try to forget it and proceed with your life. Only a few days left until you move to Waterloo and university starts. Your friends will be there, surrounded by new people, studying and college life- you'll hardly have time for anything else. You'll get over him in time. Just have faith in yourself."
"I hope so," Juliet says in response to her father's consolation. But in her heart, she ponders over her own feelings and they seem to show her a totally different aspect. She lied to him. She said that she is getting attached while in fact she's already fallen into the pitfall of this unreciprocated emotional connection some time ago. She just didn't want to make him more worried than he already is.
Goodbye...
Just a single word. Why does it hurt so much? She's tried to imagine how her days would look after she blocks every way to reach him and it scared her to say the least. These last two months, it became a routine to see him every day and Juliet impatiently kept waiting for the time she'd go to that house. Too engrossed in the temporary thrill, she never realized when it became a habit. Spending time with him turned into a need, laughing together evolved into a longing.
