Favs of Ao3

Potter's Alpacas (Jegulus 🌶️)

Potter's Alpacas
messymoony

(This is just pure Regies friends being little shits and Reggie Not enjoying it ;) there is some spic in the end but nothing really so I think no warning is needed)

Regulus was not amused. He, really, truly, wasn't. This wasn't funny at all. With his arms crossed, he regarded the large wooden sign that was hammered down into the grass. Barty and Evan obviously disagreed. Scowling, Regulus glared at them as they clutched each other, leaning in as they laughed so hard they grabbed at their stomachs. Pandora, wearing a ridiculous hat with a wide floppy brim and purple sunglasses in the shape of hearts, serenely gazed at the fields around them.

"Oh Regulus, don't you think this is so calming?" She sighed airily, adjusting the hat. Her yellow and purple dress moved with the breeze. It clashed horribly with her knee-high socks, which were white with red anatomically correct hearts on them.

Regulus scowled some more, hoping to make Evan and Barty combust with the force of his glare. This only made them laugh harder. He had absolutely no doubts about who was responsible for this outing. The only question he had left was how on earth they had convinced Dorcas to do it.

As if on cue, Dorcas clapped him on the shoulder, grinning at him. She looked very out of place, her black ripped skinny jeans, black band t-shirt, and doc martens standing out like a sore thumb in this rural environment. Her braids had little silver beads at the ends, which made a ringing sound as they moved with her head.

"Lighten up, buttercup," she cheerfully proclaimed, her eye crinkling with the force of her smile, deforming the heavy wing of her eyeliner. "You'll have fun."

"I don't see what could be fun about this," he mumbled darkly, unwilling to leave the parking lot. "I'd rather die."

Dorcas tutted as Pandora turned towards him, her eerily bright eyes focused on him so intensively that he had to suppress a shiver. "This is why you need some fun, Regulus," Pandora chided. Regulus dug his toes into the sand, feeling very much scolded. For some reason, it was always so much worse when Pandora got into it.

"Yeah, buttercup," Barty said through a slightly manic grin, wiping the tears from beneath his eyes. Regulus shot him an absolutely deadly look, glaring so hard that it almost hurt his eyes. Barty ducked behind Evan, holding his shoulders like a shield, but also stuck out his tongue, piercing glinting in the sun. Evan fondly rolled his eyes but didn't do anything to deter Barty. Regulus didn't say anything though, unwilling to suffer a true scolding from Pandora.

When his friends had unceremoniously rolled up to Regulus in Dorcas' beatdown truck, proclaiming that they had a surprise for him, Regulus had immediately been suspicious. His friends never had surprises for him, knowing how much he loathed them. Nevertheless, he had gone (unwillingly), after much convincing (and some mild manhandling).

Now, the blindfolding, that was something he most definitely did not consent to, but it was, again, done anyway. It had taken Evan, Barty, and Pandora to put the blasted thing on, and it had only been in place for 54 seconds before Regulus had torn his arms from Evan's grip and removed the thing from the vehicle. This was no exaggeration; he had thrown it out the window as soon as it was off.

Luckily for his friends, they knew him well enough and had anticipated such a move. This means that they had only put on the blindfold when they were nearly there, and when Regulus had dropped the hateful piece of cloth out the window he had been treated to the sight of his surprise.